"Man is fond of counting his troubles, but he does not count his joys. If he counted them up as he ought to, he would see that every lot has enough happiness provided for it." – Fyodor Dostoevsky
I want to start off by saying that this year has been AMAZING. I really don't know what advice to give (as far as re-producing an amazing year) but I will say that I think it had a lot to do with a change of heart, so to speak. Maybe even a change of mind . . . and soul.
What I do know, is that something happened to me when I started this journey back to myself and I'd image that anyone who felt lost should do the same. Walk backwards and start over.
Just to give a brief overview, about two years ago. . . I felt like my world was in shambles. So much so, that I ran away to a Christian Camp that I use to counsel at, just to breathe. Like life was just that bad, from a very difficult relationship, to a bad financial situation, to just about anything else I could imagine at the time. I sacrificed my freedom, essentially, to run away to the woods and spend time in ministry. That was 2010.
At this point in my life, it seems like a whole other lifetime. Yall, when I say I was broken into pieces. I was shattered. There was just so much going on. I felt so stuck in a body or life for that matter, that I could not escape from. The best way to describe it was in my post called Distorted Reflections, which in summary breaks down this feeling of living a life that was not my own.
In January of 2011, I made a decision to find myself. This decision was accompanied by this blog and a few promises to God and myself: (1) I shall Eat (Indulge), (2) I shall Pray (Reconnect with God), and (3) I shall Love (Learn to Love myself). Through 2011, I not only found God and myself, but Love also found me :). I finished 2011, feeling like I was coming out of fog.
This year has been an AMAZING year. A year, filled with life, love, and joy. 2012 has brought me a Fiance/Great Friend, a family that is beginning to pull itself back together, and friends who are coming into there own. 2012 has come with clarity in my purpose, ministry, vision, and stability. Man, 2012 has been great.
Why am I telling you about all this greatness!? Well, Today is my birthday and I am officially 25 years old. In my short life, I have been through some things and although I am more certain everyday I don't know everything. I do believe that I have learned a few things about how to find joy in your life. These are things, I want to share as a gift to you on my day.
The most important thing that I have learned in my 25 years of life (Don't laugh older people lol) is to never loose sight of who you are. For me, that means someone who can't breath without God, that means someone who desires purpose, and someone who has discovered now that her purpose is to positively impact the lives of others. When I went to find myself, I found my foundation and what really brought me joy and all the lies fell away.
Lies that I needed a man to validate me, or that I didn't need anyone because I was sufficient in myself. Lies that the world's standard was my own. I learned that the perfect balance between who I am and who God is, is all that I need to understand to move forward. I grew a lot.
So, my advice to you is: "When in doubt, Go back to the beginning." Right now, I'm enjoying my life more than I ever have before and I think it has everything to do with this process and understanding.
Thanks for Reading!
Live.Love.Laugh :)
