"Insist on yourself; never imitate. Your own gift you can present every moment with the cumulative force of a whole life's cultivation; but of the adopted talent of another you have only an extemporaneous half possession." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Monday, June 4, 2012

10 Things You Don't Understand Until You Get Older

"Youth is wasted on the young" - Georgia Bernard Shaw

I've always felt that I have been rather mature for my age, but as I get older, I realize that the key to that phrase is: for my age. No matter how mature we are, the hope is that, with age comes more wisdom. I think another way of saying it is that, life experiences teach us the lessons that our parents probably wish they could have programmed in us from the start. The more life we experience, the more opportunity we have to learn from it.

Does these mean that you can't be a foolish older person? Clearly, we all know that you can. The trick is that wisdom is available to anyone, but it is something to be sought after. An individual's years on this earth is not synonymous with wisdom, but opportunity to get wisdom.

At, (almost) 25, I am hoping that in writing this, I still have enough youth in me to understand my predecessors, with enough wisdom to speak of things to come. This is my attempt to share some of the things that I did not understand until I got older and hope to not forget. 

10. Never say Never: There was a point in life when my best friend and I had a list of never's. To this day, we laugh at our selves and all the things we thought we'd never say, do, or think. What happened to the list? Let's just say that the list is non-existent at this point in our lives. Now, when one of us even thinks to say "never," the other quickly corrects her and says "Never say never. You remember the last time we said never," followed by a lot of laughs. 

Set standards. Not limitations. Be open. . . with caution.

9. Friends may come and friends May go: When I was in high school, I could not stand females. I thought they were just catty and emotional and other than my best friends, I did not want any other female friends. It's funny, looking back on such a short period of time and seeing those I thought would be here forever, as distant memories, while people I thought I'd never be friends with as my closest friends.

For this, I think you just have to be able to recognize true friendship. Everyone is not suppose to be, nor do they need to be your friends. At the same time, don't make presumptions. Let nature take it's friendly course. 

8. You will change: This may be hard to swallow, but it happens. Things change. It's the artist formerly know as progression. People evolve. Some for the better and some for the worst but it's a natural process. You should not and will not be the same person you were at 15, when you are 25 and you're hope should be that the 25 year old you is a lot better, smarter, wiser, etc. than the 15 year old you. #imjustsayin.

7. You will be something like your parents/caregivers: As much as my younger self would have made and attempt on my life for saying this, I must say that I am a lot more like my mother than I would have once projected to be. It's almost like a trick that you fall into and one day you begin doing things like they did. Now, take this with a grain of salt. Our parents, as all people, have their pluses and minuses but regardless of what we do, they are a part of us. 

I think even if you wanted to change it, you first have to acknowledge that some of them, made it into you and if you don't want it there, you have to actively change it. In my experience, I realize that I'm understanding my mother a lot more now. She is suddenly making more sense and our relationship is a lot better because of it.

6. You will always remember critical points in life: There are many points in our life that are classified as critical moments in our brains. Depending on what stage in life you are, it could be your marriage, or your first C. Either way, these are things that we don't forget. Again, Carpe Diem, but remember that our life is filled with moments, some great and some not so great. As much as you can prevent the "not so great," try it. Don't give yourself battle scares if you don't have to.

5. Your feelings will change: In general, this just means that although turquoise may be your favorite color in the whole wide world . . .it may not be in a few years. In my younger years, I thought I would never abandon orange, but as I grew older I realized that I don't really have a favorite color. Go figure.

4. You will have to figure somethings out on your own: Have you ever heard the saying, "It get's lonely at the top?" Well, it doesn't really apply here, BUT as you get older, things change and people expect you to make your own choices. People expect you to make the decisions and know what you are talking about.

Which translates to, take advantage of the information you take in. We spent our whole entire childhood, in school and being educated. Take advantage of those opportunities because by the time you are an adult, people just expect you to know. Period. That whole "I'm young" thing just doesn't work after a while.

3. Things in your past, have a way of catching up to you: Seriously though, be careful what you do on Spring Break. Honestly, be careful what you do in general. Whether that's eating unhealthy or being mean to people or being a little TOO FRIENDLY, if you know what I mean. . . what goes around, truly does come around. You don't want nothing crazy coming back to bite you in the behind.

2. Crazy in love changes to "I love you, even though. . .": There were several times in my life that I JUST KNEW I was in love. Boy, you couldn't tell me nothing. I just knew that love was this uncontrollable, emotional reaction that was wild, fun, and free. . . right? Not really at all.

When you get older, you may find that love never changed, but it's you that begins to understand the true meaning of love, being eternal, unrelenting, fierce and unconditional. Love becomes a choice. Not a whirlwind, but a conscious choice based on two individuals that need something. It's a partnership. In some instances you will find that the person you are with evolves with you and you can be together forever. On the other side, your idea of who you want to be with changes to more practical characteristics, like "Understanding," instead of "He needs to be 6"8 and play basketball."

Just listen to your gut. When I was in High School, my list of qualities was 45 items long. That list was pretty ridiculous. At the end of the day, the man on the list ain't got nothing on the man I'm going to marry.

1. You will get older: As long as you are alive on this planet, you will age. Your body will change, you will move slower,  you will get tired, and the list goes on. Be mindful and thankful of everyday you can be young, while still thinking about how you want to live when you're old. Take care of your body, both in the food you put in it and the thoughts. Stay positive and stay open.

Keep alive. I have faith in you.

Eat. Pray. Love.