"Insist on yourself; never imitate. Your own gift you can present every moment with the cumulative force of a whole life's cultivation; but of the adopted talent of another you have only an extemporaneous half possession." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thursday, March 31, 2011

The Inside Scoop: Male Menstruation. . .


AH HA! So. . . I have finally found the information to prove that men have periods too! My female friends and I have heard rumors about this for years, but now there are people talking about it. People are just now discovering what my friends and I knew all along. Men go through menstrual cycles.

Yes. I don't care that there hasn't been a whole lot of research on the topic, I just care that at least a handful of people in the world agree with me. . .and that's all that matters. I think it's odd that women have had to take the heat for being "overly emotional" during a certain time of the month when men have these same cycles, just with out the bloating and cramps. So, what's their excuse!?

What are the signs of Male Menstruation? According to Tim Bloucher there are 5 cycles.

The first cycle is the most common: Sexual Desire. Apparently this fluctuates 3-4 times an hour. This is because men have a release of testosterone once every 15 minutes, in which women have more of a steady process that ends in a period.

The second cycle (Big Surprise) is also related to sex and adds the increased desire of sex in the morning. . . which as far as I know: All women don't have.

The third cycle is the emotional out pour. . . in which I would refer to as the male period. After the hormone rush, men experience a testosterone deficiency in which they have a lower ratio of testosterone to estrogen. This is where the "fits" come in. This can be where he is overly depressed, angry, conversational, or any other thing that men complain women do during their periods.

The fifth cycle. . . yearly sensitivity. Apparently, men have their highest levels of testosterone in the fall and the lowest in the spring. I find this a little hard to believe with the way they act when the skirts come out but apparently this could be true. This is where summer love comes from. . . lol.

So, as humorous as this is ladies. . . Please don't feel bad when you think your man is a little more emotional than usual. He's just menstruating. He'll get over it shortly and be back to his normal, emotion-less self, in no time. ;)

{Please, research more about this before talking to someone. . . I have no idea what I'm talking about}

References: http://dunderbrain.wordpress.com/2009/01/24/the-male-hormonal-cycle/ & http://bouchersblog.blogspot.com/.

Think.Happy.Thoughts




Sunday, March 27, 2011

LOVE ME BACK. . .


"Hope you two are meant to be, cause I can't see, what would take you away from the life we made" - In Vain (Jazmine Sullivan)

If you haven't heard "Love Me Back" by Jazmine Sullivan. . .you're missing out on some pretty great music. SO GREAT-- That I wanted to share a little insight on my recent struggles or just some fun topics, through the songs on the album. Why? (You might ask) Well, Music means a lot to me. It can function as my wings when I need to fly away, or my motivation to keep going, whether it's sad music when I'm down, gangster music when I'm angry, or love music when I'm happy; It speaks to me.

So this is what Ms. Sullivan has been saying to me:

* * *

1. Holding You Down (Goin' In Circles) - This song. . . says it ALL. . ."I feel so stupid, foolish, loving you this way but what can I say, but I wanna go, I wanna go but I keep coming back." I don't know if you have ever loved the wrong person, way too much or loved the right person, way too little. . . but this song is for those of us that have experienced the former. I'm not going to say that I have. . . I'm just going to say that it's not uncommon (lol).

Regardless, She sums up my feelings up with this one verse: "I stay cause I love you but I hate that I stay, you know I won't go, thats why you treat me this way, I wanna be happy though it hurts me so bad, don't know what it is that keeps me coming back." I think has helped me to acknowledge the truth of a situation like this. . .It's not okay, but there is something addictive about it. This why this is a dangerous place to be in.

If someone were to ask me at this point in life as the whether love was enough, I would say that love is only half the battle. If the rest of it isn't there. Don't waste your time. You can love someone without being with them. There comes a point where you have to look out for you.

* * *

2. 10 Seconds - Very empowering! This is pretty much where your train of thought should go after song number 1. FED UP."You did me wrong for the last time. . ." I love that my friends and I have a secret agreement to let each other go through. We aren't the type of friends that are always giving our opinions but listen and trying to encourage in a way that when we finally get to this point. . . It's on and poppin'. [SQUAD UP!] ::cough:: Sorry.

This song has helped me because it lets me know that its okay to say enough is enough, as well as that it's okay to know what you're worth. "I gave you my all and this is what you did with it." The point of this song is very simple: When you are sick and tired of being sick and tired, feel free to release all hell. ;)

* * *

3. Good Enough - This song is for any woman who has ever felt un-pretty, or under-appreciated by the one that she loves. Men don't understand how much of a women's identity and pride is tied in what she gets externally, whether its friends, family, or a significant other; We need to feel beautiful and special. This song speaks to the notion that just because he doesn't appreciate you, doesn't mean that you are less of a woman. One man's trash is another man's treasure. "I don't wanna waste my time, changing how you feel, if you don't love me, someone else will. . . If I'm not good enough"

Also Ladies, if he can't recognize your worth, Don't waste your breath trying to prove it. Let your works speak for themselves to someone who can see them off the bat.

* * *

4. Don't Make Me Wait - This is a sexy song. . . (lol). Again, not to say that I have or have not experienced this but sometimes you don't really want the relationship or the romance . . . or information for that matter *Shrugs*

* * *

5. Love Me Long Time - "I got a real good dude and he loves me a lot and ain't no other man gonna take his spot and I'm so happy your mine. . . umma love you a long time." Oh to be in love :). I love this song, although I'm not in love at the moment, oh how great it is to feel like there is another person in this world that you love and they love you back. It feels like you can do anything and nothing can stop you. Can't wait to feel this way again (Well, I can wait. . . for the right person.)

* * *

6. Redemption - "Lord please, just save me. . . (If you're really there), Here's a sinner's prayer." UGH! This song for me represents those times of desperation. . . after you tried to do it your way. . . and failed. I love this song because it says two things to me: (1) Things eventually catch up with you and (2) God hears you, even after you have done everything wrong.

* * *

7. Excuse Me - This is like a slowed down "Love you long time." Again, she talks about that love when you know (or think) that you've found the one. "Excuse me if I'm sounding crazy but you've been the (one I've been hoping and waiting for) Ive search all around but there's, no body else in the world that can love me like you do." The part where she says, "Makes me want to cook and clean" is funny because I find myself wanting to do any and everything for the person that I feel this way about. Its like this urge to be everything comes over you. It's a great feeling!

* * *

8. U Get On My Nerves - This song is freaking hilarious . . . but soooo true! "I swear I don't know how we lasted that long. . . You get on my damn nerves, damn nerves, damn nerves, So glad we're not together." Have you ever been so over some one that you can't stand the sight of the them, let alone their voice? It's like the complete opposite of "Excuse Me" and "Love You Long Time". . . but a result of "Holding You Down." Best part of the song, when they consider trying again but they remember "I can't stand you". . . HILARIOUS. I must admit. Been there. . . could possibly still be there.

* * *

9. Stuttering - This song describes that first time speaking to a new guy. The very beginning :). I would argue. . . one of the best parts of the relationship.

* * *

10. Famous - Favorite song on the album! Jazmine Sullivan actually talks about this song and she describes how it goes beyond fame, its for anyone who has ever wanted anything with urgency. "I gotta be famous, I meant to be somebody." "No one wants to be invisible, everyone just wants to be seen" hits me hard because I recall being in a place were I felt like I was unseen. Call it middle child syndrome, but I always felt like I was vying for the attention of those that I love; I just wanted to be noticed.

"I wanna matter, to the world, to a girl, watching me on TV, watching me, and I want her to wanna be me, to be, and I wanna be her dream"

* * *

11. Luv Back- "Baby I'm so over you and aint take long to find somebody new. . . He's everything you wasn't but he's everything I wanted and I know he'd never treat me like you do" Speaks for itself, but this song is for anyone who has ever wanted their love back from someone you felt was undeserving. . . like you could just go to the store and get a return lol. (Love it!)

* * *

*Bonus Track* In Vain - Honestly, I feel like I should just quote this entire song but I can't. In general its the "main chick's" perspective on a break up caused by an affair/cheating/broken agreement. . .whatever. She is wishing her ex and his new girl (The one he was with while they were together) well wishes. I think it's a perspective that most women come to if they really loved the person they were with and truly hope they're happy. "Hope she's everything you wanted. . . Hope she's everything I wasn't. . . Hope she gives up more than I. . .Hope she keeps you satisfied. . . cause if you sacrificed everything. . . It better not be in vain"

At the same time, there is this bitter under-tone that its possible the new girl wont be better than her. She is hurt but it's almost like she is saying she can understand if it's love but if not, he ruined a great thing. Basically, She better be worth it. I'm sure men would argue that every women feels like they were the best. . . but sometimes they were right. She's just giving something to consider.

* * *
The End :)

PLEASE GO GET THE ALBUM. . . It's pretty awesome.

Think.Happy.Thoughts. ;)

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Silence is a Virtue.


"There are many times when silence is the loudest voice" -Leroy Brownlow

What could possibly come out of not saying anything?
This is the question that I found myself asking yesterday. After a long series of heated debates, tears, cussing, and down right frustration, I frantically searched for a way out. March has been like this. I find that my friends are far away but I'm use to it now, decisions have to be made yet I'm the only one that can make them, and I'm at a cross-roads that has no instructions on which way to turn.

I feel like I'm yelling to be heard when I do get a chance to talk, but no one seems to be listening. It seems as if I've been fighting for so long I don't remember how it feels for my heart to walk and not race. I just wanted to know how it would be if everything wasn't so LOUD.

My friends are not strangers of my disappearing acts, or distancing spells but there was something about this time that was a little different than the others. I no longer wanted to escape to figure things out, or to be by myself because I knew it would be better. . . I just wanted everything inside to stop. Me. Not the world. It seems like I have been going for so long that I forgot what it feels like to just be. Not filling a space to get to another space or thinking thoughts to get to other thoughts. . . I just had this overwhelming sense to be quiet. So I did.

My mission is to learn what is in silence. . .if anything. What is the benefit of sitting in the quiet and just being? I'm good at making lists and plans and attempting to implement plans but silence. . . is something that I've never tried before. I feel like once I learned to defend myself, I never stopped. Which is great, but still, it's not peaceful to always be hurt, defensive, or anxious. It's not fun to always be worried about whether the decision you made, was the right choice. Nor is it fun to worry about whether the people in your life are out to get you. It makes my head crowded with thoughts that i can't process, so they all just pile up and wait in a never ending line of confusion.

With all that being said, I'm taking a silent approach. I don't think that I can just "drop" everything because that would be a tad bit irresponsible BUT. . . I can give it to God. When I was trying to figure out how I can be silent and not fail in everything, I remembered that I should "be anxious for nothing, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present [my] requests to God"(Phillipians 4:6). So, my solution to quieting my life for a few days is to hand it over to someone else.

"We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature - trees, flowers, grass- grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence... We need silence to be able to touch souls." - Mother Teresa

Hopefully, if this works out I can give God a permanent position as my manager, while I take the more scenic route in life.

I will definitely let you all know how this turns out :)

Think. Happy. Thoughts.