The God in You

"I see the God in you. That's how I fell in love with God. I saw him in the people that saw me for who I was and loved me in spite of" - The Lost Child

I was sitting at church during the worship service as the Pastor explained the importance of communion. The argument, as to why communion should be important, was as simple as I can make it. . . for the same reason Americans see value in celebrating Thanksgiving: A connection centered around the celebration of food.

As I listened to him talk about what we could think about to make communion resonate stronger with us, I thought of my reason as to why communion is so special to me. Communion is special to me because I know the man who died for me. I know the man who broke his body, and shared his blood for me to be connected with him. When Jesus did this, he asked for the disciples to do this in remembrance of him. . .because they knew him. They knew Jesus.

One of the options given was to think about what Jesus did on the cross and how that impacts us today. Another to think of the special connections shared with this ceremony. What brought me to tears was that I felt like I knew the heart of the man that did it. What he did was great, but who he was and why he did it, to me, was what made it the greatest story ever told.

During the moment, that I realized that I knew who he was, I looked over to my right. This is where my boyfriend was sitting beside me. I began to think about the countless conversations we've had about Love and God and I cried. In all of my years of serving and worshiping God, during the midst of our conversations I had to come to grips with the fact that I may have never Loved God. I may have never understood the heart of God, nor may I have ever know what love truly meant. Yet, because of my time with him, I began to see God for who he was and couldn't help but to fall in love with him.

But it was through him, and the other people that God placed in my life, that I came to this point.

I didn't realize that when I first began to spend time with him, I was seeing God. I was drawn by his comfort and warm spirit, but at the heart of it, he saw right through me. He made me feel funny, beautiful, safe, and most importantly loved. I began to cancel plans with other people just to steal an hour with him. I began thinking about him throughout the day. I began talking to other people about him, and if anything in the past 7 months my affections have only grown. And as handsome, intelligent, funny, and strong willed as he may be, what he's shown me in the past 7 months was God.

Through his love, he has shown me that God loves. My best friend has shown me God through NEVER leaving my side. My sisters and brothers have shown me love through their support. Jesus says that how we treat the least of us, is how we treat him, on the other hand we bring Jesus to the world through our actions.

This is what made it easy to connect to God because now I understand that God is patient, God is kind. God does not envy, He does not boast, He is not proud. He does not dishonor others, He is not self-seeking, He is not easily angered, He keeps no record of wrongs. God does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. He always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. God never fails.

Now I am charged with sharing that love with you. By letting you know that everyday you are beautiful, everyday you are smart, and everyday you are royalty because God said so. I don't have to tell you everything you did wrong, nor do I have to tell you how terrible you are because none of that matters in Love.

So, thank you to everyone who walks in love, who've shown me love, and who has shown me the heart of God. For this, I am forever grateful.

Child-Like Religion

When I was about 14 years old, I remember going with my grandmother to the grocery store, specifically to purchase cherries. I remember this because it was shortly after I discovered my obsession with cherries and cheese, to this day, still one of my favorite snacks. We both went inside the store, we bought what we came inside to get and on the way to the car I prayed over the fruit and began to eat them. As my grandmother got into the car, she scolded me and said "You have to wash those before you eat them!"I looked at her, laughed, and said, "I prayed." She responded, "Well, you still have to wash them." Confused, I asked, "What can water wash clean, that Jesus can't?"

In no way am I condoning eating dirty fruit, but it was the first time in life I really critically examined my faith, or religion for that matter. The funny thing to me was that she had no response for that. As a teen and even now, I realize that I don't think that's the way everyone thinks. Not that I'm special, just because I was allowed to choose, taught that my opinion mattered, and under that assumption I believe there are millions who can account to the same thing.

For some strange reason, I was always surrounded by a group of people that I could question things with, and not solely for the purpose of questioning, but for understanding and growth. When a question arose, we took to the scripture, we discussed, we prayed, we searched. The amazing part of this was that. . . we found answers and in that, we matured.

Almost like a child who asks why and instead of having the parent that says "Because I said so," they have the parent that gives an answer to help them understand. In the first instance, that child is not equipped on his own, but the second child learns that there can be meaning behind the things in the world and can then impact someone else's life.

Today, when I look back at different phases of my life, I am reminded that I will forever be the student. I will always learn from people, experiences, conflicts and from these things, God will speak to me. In worship, prayer, walking, God is forever in conversation but through these moments and individuals, God teaches me.

Back when I had that conversation with my grandmother, I realized that without the application of faith, we loose the meaning behind what we believe. If God is who we say he is, then why not? Why not love him with all your heart and love your neighbor as you would love yourself? Why not ask and receive, seek to find, or knock to be answered? Why not pray to understand and read to get clarity? Why not?

Not as some test of power but because that is what we believe. It seems that we were given all the tools to impact nations, yet many of us (including me) will choose fear before faith, without even making a ripple in time. We are so afraid to critically analyze or think past what we have been taught, for fear that we are going against God. We are afraid to trust God to change not only our hearts and actions, but the actions of those we hope to impact.

Honestly, I feared thinking past what I was given at one point in my life because I was afraid of being wrong. I was afraid there would be an answer that rocked my foundation so much so, that I would no longer believe. Yet, how is that faith? If I only believe as long as I plug my ears and nothing challenges me, how can I really say that I know that I know. . .that I know. You know? (lol, just a little comic relief)

Facts of life. . .God will exist, whether I understand things about him, or not, whether I have faith or not, he is the constant. It's me who is rendered ineffective by the fear to question, understand, believe, love and change. For me this is where I began to seek after God's heart. This is the "new religion," understanding, building a relationship, and falling in love with God without fear.

People, both believers and non-believers, are beginning to ask questions that we have been afraid to address with an open heart. We are beginning to want more from God than the texts on the page, a few hours in church, and a rule book on how to get into heaven. This new religion is not new at all, its the same religion that Christ came to provide under the new covenant against the Pharisee's warped understanding of law. It is not the law that is bad, it is that without love, we cannot fulfill it.

My question is have we become the new pharisees? Consumed and completely missing the point.

Food for Thought.