Redemption. . .

"The Spirit is Love expressed towards man as redeeming love, and the Spirit is truth, and the Spirit is the Holy Spirit. Redemption is inconceivable without truth and holiness." Roland Allen

Redemption is something that everyone wants to receive but no one wants to give. A paradox in the sense that, if no one gives it . . .how can it ever exist in reality? Redemption is something that is found to be rare and at a great cost, but is that to the cost of the redeemer or the redeemed.

In my life, the hardest things or people for me to forgive are those that have "sinned" against me, yet I have no relationship with. Things that affect my inner most core, like my heart or spirit, hurt me deeply, but depending upon how I feel for someone, redemption is a lot more achievable. Is this how God feels about us?

What was the purpose of the life and death of Christ, if not to symbolize one of God's greatest gifts. . . Redemption. Whether by relationship, or the possibility of one, is redemption granted on the basis of relationship? Or is the idea of redemption or mercy for someone you have no relationship with even greater? I think God considered both, yet redemption comes with the acknowledgment that wrong has been done, grace has been given, and all things are washed away. To christian, this is through Christ.

Just to give a little background, this weekend I was doing a lot of Facebook stalking and I "happened" on to some pages of people that have or still have hard feelings for me or vice versa, you know. . . just to see how things were.

::Long AWKWARD pause, accompanied with a stare::

Anyways, I was looking at people's pages and seeing how things in their lives have changed and continued on long after ME. I then began to think about how they have come to grips with whatever animosity, that was once so prevalent and is now seemingly non-existent, they had or still have. It's hard to have a desire to make amends when your not sure if it's even still necessary to make. Let alone, considering whether this person is "relevant" enough to go through the emotions that come with forgiveness.

Redemption in my life is translating into forgiving those who have wronged or hurt me, apologizing to those I have wronged or hurt, and letting go of the people or situations that just ended with little to no understanding at all. . .in the spirit of forgiveness.

I think whether I've had a deep relationship with another human being or not. . .Redemption is necessary, as long as Christ died on the basis that we ALL could be free from our transgressions. So I choose to walk in that freedom and grant others the opportunity to walk in that freedom as well. Let God do what he does and change the hearts of man, while you love like Christ loved and show the world it's worth it.

Redemption starts in the heart. Your heart. Meaning with you. Whether you are the redeemed or the redeemer. . . it starts with you.

::Hops of stand and skips away freely::

Eat.Pray.Love.

Live.{Walk.in.Love}.Happy. ;)

Silent Wars: Male Friends & Boyfriends

As a girl with a long list of guy friends and a short list of boyfriends, I must say, "I don't do very well with managing the silent wars between the men in my life." I know that a boyfriend is important because he is essentially a candidate for a long-standing position of husband, but does that invalidate a relationship with a man that was never in the running?

A guy friend is well. . .your friend. No different from a girl friend, just made up of a different anatomy. The guy friend, as with most girl friends, are always there in-between boyfriends. He is forced to listen to you rant about how pointless men are with no retorts. He is consistently there. There is limited drama because even if you are attracted to each other, the fact that you've never crossed the line means that you value your relationship. . . AND If you have crossed that line, you feel safe that if nothing came of it, it probably wouldn't work out anyways.

How can a girl choose between that?

I don't even know if the issue is choosing, as much as it is running constant male ego damage control for those guy friends and boyfriends that seem to be a little more "manly." In my experience, the only times guy friends are ever an issue are when: (1) your boyfriend doesn't understand the relationship, (2) both your boyfriend and guy friend are extremely territorial, or (3) one of them is dis-respectful to the other's relationship.

I feel like morally, if someone is acting like a jerk, they should get the "talk," BUT I think ultimately, if you are going to stay with the boyfriend. . . he gets the last word. This is something I would definitely like to hear your stories and opinions on. . .

{HELP! :)}

Relationships 201: When things get tough

I’m not going to lie . . . this love thing is not easy. As I edge towards 6 months in my new found relationship, it seems like everything that was once cute or funny is no longer cute nor funny. I have always said that I like the beginning of relationships better than any other part because it seems like that’s the part that is as you imagined, when you’re single and praying to God that he sends you the man of your dreams. Then you get him and 6 months later, you’re wondering if this was really what you signed up for. This is where I am. Maybe I’m allergic to compromise and all the things you need to have a successful relationship but when things get tough. . . I always wonder if I should get going.

It seems like after a certain time of dealing with someone day in and day out you start to have to deal with everything. You, them, your family, their family, your friends, their friends and the list goes on. . . and on. . . and on. It’s tiring. Even if you just had to deal with that person, dealing with myself is hard, so how does anyone expect me to deal with someone else.
I should be banned from relationships!?

At the same time, 6 months is usually when you decide to stick it out. If you make it past the 6 month itch while dealing with the issues head on, then not only is it very likely that you’ll make it BUT you have the ability to set yourself up for a great long-lasting relationship. That’s just a major IF for some people . . . some more than others.

I don’t know if this happens to everyone but it happens and is happening to me. Coupled with love is the willingness to conquer all obstacles that come your way . . . my questions is do I have what it takes to make it? With all the pain that I’ve been through with loves and loves lost, it just seems like to continue running into the same thing is a little intellectually challenged (If you know what I mean).

You also have to wonder what the other person, in the relationship with you, is thinking. Are they in it for the long haul, or are they ready to jump ship?

Honestly, I feel like this has more to do with my personal baggage than it has to do with my relationships. All-in-all, what I am learning is that love is patient, love is kind, and love is work. Rome wasn’t built in one day and neither is a successful relationship, so if it’s worth it keep trying. [Side not: This is definitely worth it.]

Sorry if this left you more confused than clear but this is real. . . but in being real, I can see the potential for greatness. Good things take work, and GREAT things take persistence, care, and time ;)

Live. Love. Laugh.

Think. Happy. Thoughts.

Awkward Black Girl: College Tour

Moment like these are when I wish I was still in college. . .

If you have never seen "The Mis-Adventures of Awkward Black Girl" then you are missing out on a seriously humorous depiction of a growing part of the African american community, which makes this both entertaining but educational. I was referred to this site at least three times before finally watching and then realizing that I could not stop watching. It's very upsetting that there are only 7 episodes!

Coming from someone who can relate, Issa Rae (The Creator) has not only done a fabulous job of reading my mind, but she has also helped to raise the issue of this one sided view of the African American community being portrayed in the media.

There is still this idea that all black people are hip, cool, athletic or ghetto, with any variation from this being un-realistic . . . which I must say is sometimes flattering but a little offensive. The funny thing is "J," the main character, is the "realest" black girl I've seen in the media in a while. If you haven't seen the episodes I have listed all 7 episodes below. Please watch and if you are interested in having Awkward Black Girl at your school, please e-mail: pr@issarae.com for more details, or click the image above.

Episode 1

Episode 2

Episode 3

Episode 4

Episode 5

Episode 6

Episode 7

Also, make sure to check our www.issarae.com and @awkwarblkgrl on twitter!

Georiga's Response to Childhood Obesity. . . What the hell?

Bobby

Tamika

Tina

Maritza

Jaden

First off, I have to say that Georgia has re-affirmed it's position as being one of the WORST states in the U.S., when it comes to child well-being. Second, Really?

I have so many issues with the campaign, starting with using the word "fat" to describe these kids, down to the phrase "being fat takes the fun out of being a kid" . . . what!?

One of the main issues with saying "fat" versus over-weight is that you are dealing with people's perceptions, not actual measurements. Not only are we giving bullies ammo to attack children that are over-weight BUT we are ensuring that the children who were comfortable with themselves have not an ounce left of self-esteem in there bodies. Come on Georgia, you couldn't think of anything better than this?

The idea behind sugar-coding the issue is something that I do understand but I don't know how a campaign like this doesn't do more harm then good. To my understand being under-weight is just as bad as being over-weight so what message are we really sending. It's better to be skinny and happy than fat and unhappy? Weight doesn't determine happiness, speaking from the un-happy, scrawny black child's perspective

Better yet, what about the children that are happy or don't have health issues, do they pass? I think the part that bothers me the most about this is that someone thought it was a great message. Someone thought that exploiting children on TV to say that they were fat is going to help. Yet, this doesn't change the fact that the families who already have financial struggles, can't afford healthy options. Nor does it change the fat that if families are not educated or don't help their children deal with the emotions that can come from a message like this, we may be dealing with other issues like low self-esteem, depression, etc.

I can just see some who themselves are probably over-weight working on this campaign thinking, "This has to be done." I honestly hope that it does work, because I would hate to see the ripple effect that something like this could have on a child. I also hope that if the intent was to piss people off enough to do something that we do better than this.

I think I would like to recommend ads with black boys saying "Have fun while it lasts. . . Being black isn't that fun either" with statistics on black male incarceration that follows. Needless to say, I'm out-raged. I think the seriousness could have been stressed without humiliation and the mention that it's not about being fat, it's about being healthy.

Good 'Ol Georgia. . . what the hell.

It's a Beautiful Life. . .

New Artist Alert!!! New Artist Alert!!!

"Beautiful Life" - @Ro_Lambo

RoLando Lamb Jr is an up and coming hip-hop artist that was born in Richmond Va., who is projected to release his first album by the end of 2011. Recently, he released a new single called "Beautiful Life," which is about seeing the beauty in life, even when it is difficult to see. What I like about his music is that the message is simple, clear, and REAL. Not everyone has it all together, nor is everyone focused on "sex, money, and drugs," so where is the music for those of us that are in-between? Rolando describes his music as "Life Music," and that's exactly why I like it; the breath in my lungs is just about the only thing I have in common with the entire rest of the world and music is the way I connect.

A little more on Rolando: When he was 8 years old he and his family relocated to Atlanta GA. At the age of 17 he was introduced to poetry. Since then, he has completely immersed hisself in any and everything that has to do with writing. His poetic approach to music coupled with his emotional intensity provides a beautiful canvas for his unique perspective on life and its many aspects.

Dowload His Music at Rolando.bandcamp.com

and/or Learn more about him on Facebook.

Anger MANAGEment

Scenario: I'm driving down 75 South headed to work and talking on the phone. For this scenario, I have to make several disclaimers: (1) I am not one of those women that can't drive and (2) I was in traffic. Why are these two points necessary to make now? Well, some may have picture one of those women on their cell phone, driving at 10 miles per hour while traffic speeds around them. . . not the case. I was in morning traffic, which means no one was going anywhere.

Anyways, I have no idea who I was talking to but I do remember that it was a pretty good conversation which lead to my ultimate shock when I glanced to my right to see a man angrily motioning for my attention. Shock and confused, I asked the person to hold on and looked more closely. The man, still angry, was making a phone with his hand and "putting it down." With his mouth, he motioned you need to put the phone down.

At this point, I was still a little confused but I was getting angry, as well. First, Mr. Angry man, if you are really in a rush, why do you have time to get my attention to send signs to instruct me on driving while not watching the road? Second, if the car in front of me is 2 centimeters away and the car behind me is just a close, what can I do?

The man proceeds to speed "off" into traffic, meaning he went no where and I proceeded to grow in my anger. My response, I sped of behind him. He gets about 2 feet away and has to get into the other lane. I drive next to his car to give my gangster grill stare and he is really still angrily motioning. . . after cutting two people off. My thoughts, "Wow, this guy looks really stupid."

I proceed to drive, AND continue my conversation, and he jumps behind me then jumps back into his lane, as the roads split.

Life lessons learned?

#1. Road rage is stupid. When you are screaming in your car like an Orangutan, cussing people out, usually they can't hear you and even if they can, you usually end up doing something just as bad to someone else. Please, save yourself and relax.

#2. Talk on speaker phone. I realize that I'm not going to stop talking on the phone and driving because. . . I mean. Driving is boring sometimes BUT I think i try to use speaker phone so angry men don't have a reason to be sexist, tell me how to drive, and then drive like an idiot. I think this act is for the people.

#3. Is it really worth it? When we get angry about things, is it always worth the reaction. One of the biggest things that this experience showed me is that some times the things we stress about are never really that bad. Some things require energy but negative energy doesn't equate to anything positive. . . hence the negative part.

Parenting In The End Times

"It takes a village to raise a child"

As a 24-year woman who is looking to one day get married and have children, I have been spending a lot of time thinking about what "family" looks like today and how that relates to raising children in the future. I personally didn't come from the simplest of backgrounds, but I'm beginning to feel like the world is just getting worse.

The concept of having a village to raise a child is awesome, until that village becomes everything you don't want your kid to be.

I'm sure people have been having this sneaking suspicion for years now but when I'm watching Republicans and Democrats fight over health care and budgets, and the thing cut is social services and education. . . I began to worry we are moving towards a different type of society. In Georgia especially, were the state is currently one of the worst in child welfare. Can you believe that? What does that say about what we value as a community?

With war, a steady decline in financial resources, crime, hate, and the other scary things this world has to offer. . . Will it one day be irresponsible to have children at all?

I honestly don't know. I assume that things are going good somewhere and people are happy, but then I have to wonder if we live only for the joys in life. If so, if there is no potential hope for joy are when then left with nothing?

I believe that parents have a responsibility to not only protect the safety of their kids, but to prepare them for the world they have been born into. Parents have a responsibility to give their child a chance to be carefree but also prepare them for the struggles that will come. So I guess my real question would be, am I prepared to raise children that are able to withstand whatever comes their way. Will I be a mother of individuals who can be a bright light in complete darkness?

Still don't know. . . but I do know that the idea of being a parent is a crazily important job, I pray that I'm ready, when and where ever it comes.