"A man who is a master of patience is master of everything else." -George Savile
Do you ever feel like you're always waiting for the next big thing? I do. I always feel like there is always something to look forward to, something that makes "right now" seem just a little less attractive. On one side, it's optimistic to always have hope for more, yet on the other side it's never being satisfied for what life is at each and every moment. It a nutshell, it's impatient.
Por ejemplo, when I was 16, I wanted to be 18, so that I could move out. (What teen doesn't?) When I was 18, I wanted to be 21 because. . . I mean, it was 21. When I was 21, I thought well 25 is when you really grow up. Mind you, now that I'm almost 25, I'm really hoping my life continues to advance with out aging a day, but one can dream, right?
Anyways, this isn't just a problem in my age. This is also a problem in my love, professional, and academic life. When my best friend and I were in high school, we couldn't have imagined anything better than having a boyfriend. As life went on, it progressed. When I graduated from high school, I couldn't wait to finish college. After college, I didn't waste any time getting my masters and after almost a year and a half of solely having my Masters, I feel the twisted compulsion and agonizing desire to march forward towards my PhD. I just can't be satisfied.
It just seems like now is never enough.
My friends would probably say that this is normal for me. Maybe even suggest that my continuous desire to leave/go/exit is inscribed in my DNA. Yet, I'd image in all the people in the world there is AT LEAST one other person like me. . . right?
I fear that marriage is slowly becoming my desire, just so that I'm no longer stationed where I am, but then what comes next. . . children!? Something has got to give.
I just feel like I'm forever waiting to press go. I'm always anxiously waiting for the next BIG thing to happen. Yet, this is where "virtues" and "wisdom" come in. This is when sayings like "Don't forget to smell the roses" and "Take advantage of you time" should settle in ones mind and calm all anxieties and fears. . . right?
The secret must be balance. Mind you, it's hard for me to image anything in life that doesn't take a tinsy bit of that. Regardless, the answer to my struggle with "go, Go, GO!," must bewaiting and hoping for better, but being fully engaged in every moment of the present. (If that is even possible).
It must be balance.
It must be that we do not forget to admire the stones that make the building, as well as taking pride in the accomplishment of the final structure. It must be balance. When I think back, I'm forever grateful for the stones that are steadily completing my mountain. I've just never had the patience to admire them, while building.
C'est la vi. With this understanding I will try to smell my roses, while lacing up my shoes to take off. I will try to be patient but prepared and I will try not to look so far ahead into my future, I forget my present. "Try" being the word to highlight, underline, and circle.
Think. HAPPY. Thoughs.
