Just One of the Guys

Like most of my crew of female friends, I have always been considered “Just one of the guys.” This is something that I'm proud of, for the fact that I love my brothers, but not because I down female relationships like a lot of women tend to do. I’m not going to sit here and pretend that I’ve always understood the value of female relationships and never said things like “I don’t hang out with women because they’re too dramatic,” because I have. I’m just trying to say that I understand them better now and will always keep a close net of like-minded women around me; Although, this is a conversation for another day.

Today we will focus on male and female friendships. The good ‘Ol land of platonic friendships between women and men. I know it sounds crazy, especially if you’ve read any of Steve Harvey’s books, but it does happen.

For example, I have a ton of guy friends, whom I love dearly. I think a large reason that I leaned towards men is that I was raised with two brothers and a butt load of boy cousins. I had one girl cousin that I was with a lot of my younger years, followed by two others as I got older. Needless to say, they weren’t around long enough to be a major influence on my overall relationships.

I think part of what it takes to being “Just One of the Guys” is the incontestable ability to “Hang Out.” It’s funny when I think about it because when I’m with my girl friends, we always have to do something. Whether it’s the mall, movies, dinner, or talk; we have to do something. With guys, you just hang. You could say nothing for hours and just be around to laugh at something funny, which in turn solidifies your position as a good friend.

The other thing I’ve learned about being “Just One of the Guys” is that you just listen to them. It’s funny how we forget that guys have feelings because we feel like the men we date don’t. When I’m not just “Hanging” with my brothers, I’m listening. We will talk for hours when I just listen to them. Hours of feelings, their likes, dislikes, desires, as well as pertinent insight on the male psyche, which is valuable for any woman who want/is/will be in a relationship.

The benefits of “hanging” and “listening” are tremendously worth it. Guy friends offer support, protection, “man knowledge,” and loyalty. Women make the best “guy friend” because they provide things that men need, naturally. Plus, when you take out the relationships issues or attraction, you get a great companion.

It’s wonderful being “Just One of the Guys,” as long as you remember that being a friend to a man means that attraction and feelings get trumped at the door. Once a friendship is established, you should do everything to maintain that friendship, meaning no romance unless you absolutely believe it’s the real deal.

I think this is the hardest part about being “Just One of the Guys” for women. Building such a strong bond with a man and not getting to date him . . . unheard of. Especially, when he may feel the same way about you as well. You have to consider that a rash decision may cost the friendship, which means you have to decide whether your heart takes precedence over your relationship.