I Understand | Wakarimasu | Comprendo

Complex forms of thought and communicating those thoughts are a major part of why we are considered, by ourselves of course, “the most advanced and dominant species”. We can build architecturally sound structures, create ways to purify water, make animals reproduce fast for food, and cure and/or tame, some of the world’s most deadly diseases; Yet, we still can’t seem to understand each other.

I was speaking with my mother the other night and she was trying to tell me about a pain in her collar bone area. I was working on the computer and was not entirely that interested, but I entertained her nonetheless and tried to understand where the pain was coming from. At first, we settled on the idea that it was her collar bone but then she started to say that it was below where I was pointing to. I asked her where she was talking about and as she showed me with her hands, I tried to mimic her with my hands. She was telling me that that was not where she was talking about but I kept saying that she must be talking about her collar bone because I couldn’t think of anything else it could be.

Eventually, she said “You can’t see what I’m talking about?” in a way that just rubbed me wrong. It was as if she was saying that something was wrong with me. In my mind I thought, its obvious that I can’t see where I’m pointing on myself because I was sitting in front of her and not in front of a mirror. I was frustrated that she could not see that I was trying to understand her but I couldn’t. So I quit. I said “You should probably just go see a doctor.”

In realizing that I was now frustrated, she asked “You can’t help me out with this one thing?” and I responded “Well, I’m not a doctor.” She stood there for a second but I continued doing what I was doing before the whole ordeal. I felt bad after because I could tell that she was a little hurt but I don’t quite understand how she cannot see the frustration in not only not understanding, but having someone tell you that you were doing something wrong in this not understanding.

I don’t know. Maybe it’s dumb, but it just made me think about why it is so hard to communicate with other people. We are smart, competent individuals who at times can have the same native tongue and speak two very different languages. I can say “I’m trying to understand you” with all of me and still have it translate as “I could care less.”