365 Days of Eat.Pray.Love

First a disclaimer, I have to start by saying that I’ve never seen the movie, nor have I read the book “Eat.Pray.Love.” I have to start with this just in case an “Über” excited fan wants to challenge me on my proposed journey of self-actualization for accuracy parallel to the actual purpose of the novel/movie. It may have nothing to do with either. This is just my attempt to understand myself and grow before building a foundation of unhappiness that I cannot escape.

365 of Eat.Pray.Love

Eat: Indulge.

People are always saying that life is too short, yet youth is wasted on the young. In my short 23 years of life, I have realized that there are benefits and disadvantages to being a mature young person. The obvious benefits are that you will most likely be more prepared for your adult years than your peers, you will be granted opportunities that may not be afforded to others, due to age or experience, and you will most likely avoid making a lot of the dumb mistakes your peers make because you are beyond your years. BORING. The disadvantages are that sometimes you miss out on the joy and adventure of life, you are fearful that things you do now will mess up your future, or you stress out before you’re suppose to start growing gray hairs. I’m up to three and counting.

I vow that in the next 365 days I will indulge. Eating is a time of enjoyment, At least for me it is, but I think that it goes beyond that. The “Eat” part of my journey will be to indulge in life’s blessings, whether that’s traveling, eating, sleeping in, laughing, etc. I have always wanted to build up a blank cookbook and paint paintings for my own house, just to name a few. I vow to live my life to its fullest potential of enjoyment.

Pray: Loving God.

I believe that there is a God. I believe that He is everywhere and He created everything. I believe that He loved me enough to bless me with life, love, and wisdom and I owe everything to Him. Which leads me to part two: “Pray.”

For this part of my journey, I’m tired of saying that I wish I was closer to God. I’m tired of saying I’ll pray later, or I’ll go to church next Sunday. I’m tired of disappointing the one being in the world that would, will, and did die for me to take part in this process called life, that I am grateful for. At the same time, I know God isn’t measuring how much he loves me based on the amount of verses I read or tithes that I pay.

My vow to God is that I will love Him. I will take time out of every day to love Him and acknowledge his presence. I will take time to devote myself to my greatest friend. I’m not promising that I will read the bible every day, nor that I will wake up at 5 a.m. to pray, but I am promising that when I don’t pray, I will read, and when I don’t read, I will go to church, and when I can’t go to church, I will worship Him. I love God.

Love: Loving Myself.

It is hard to pinpoint why women in my community specifically, seem to have issues with finding love. It is hard to blame men when we choose to be in relationships with certain individuals and it is also hard to blame women when men are not always forthcoming with their terminal ailments. In the end, one thing that I feel could be the key to love in relationships is to first, love thyself.

Love is hard for me because I use to hate love. We use to be great enemies in which I cursed its existence and it played ping pong with my heart strings but I’m beginning to understand that my heart and I were not on the same page. My heart was looking for peace outside of me and I didn’t want to be hurt. Regardless, this is why for love, I will first love me.

My vow to love is to love myself. I vow to enjoy being with a great woman that can be funny, a little emotional, but an overall okay human being. I vow to do my hair and nails for no reason and take myself out on dates. This part is important for me because I’ve learned that before you can love anyone else, or expect someone to love you. . .you have to love yourself. Not loving yourself creates insecurities, issues, and heartache long before the cheating boyfriend or continuous fights. Part of loving yourself is not letting anyone hurt you because you know how to be loved and when someone’s attempt at love is not enough for you. I will love me.

With that being said. . . anything goes ::evil laughter::

My rules are: (1) Don’t love anyone else more than you love yourself, (2) Don’t love yourself more than you love God, and (3) Don’t enter into a relationship. I think this helps me to focus on God and me. It doesn’t mean that I’m going to go around kicking babies and pushing the elderly, nor that I will not date or hang out, but it does me that I’m focused on God and myself and everyone and thing else can wait.

Wish Me Luck!