This is a letter from a woman who struggled with a man who is not monogamous. From one woman to another, she writes the other woman in hopes to learn, teach, and grow. I think that it is a very interesting perspective.
Woman:
I would imagine that it feels weird that I'm writing this, especially as it is addressed to you, but I find that at this point in my life there is no need for formalities. We are all aware of the realities of our relationship at this point. Our common denominator. I won't say who he is because at this point, I don't think it matters, what matters is that we now have an issue between you and I. This issue of ill feelings and bad wishes is something that has now begun to plague me, but I had to search long and hard for the reason why.
I don't know you, nor do I have any cares about you. Not as an insult, I'm just trying to be honest and as the woman that came before you, I understand. Hence, the pressing need for a conversation. If you think I haven't gave it to him, I have, but the air that I get from you is that you still don't understand who your enemies are to keep close, and your potential allies to keep closer. After thinking long and hard, I thought about why I was angry with you and ultimately the issue was not that you were with him while I was too. A man that leaves is not worth having and relationships created with loose ties, never really end. I believe my issue was that I don't believe you ever considered that my story could be yours.
I don't believe that you ever considered that one day, you would be the woman on the other side of the fence, watching as he slowly drifted away. I think my main problem is that you never cared to think about how you would feel, when put in the same situation. There is rarely a point in situations like this, that a woman is unaware that there is someone else there. Yet, you chose to ignore the signs, all to continue a love affair.
We are not the same woman at all, nor do we have the same dreams, but the one thing we have in common is him. I just wished you would have thought it through before you became the other woman and he did the same thing to you. Now as the bitterness sets in, its hard to understand who to trust. So I really hope you understand what I'm about to say.
Women don't understand how much more power they have when they work together, versus against. As a woman who has been there longer, through different situations, I could have offered you some helpful hints. I could have told you how you would feel when it all came to an end. I could have also told you that just because he ever chose you once or twice, doesn't mean that we ever came to an end. I could have been an ally in your corner, to push for your own personal desires. Instead, I was a fighting force against your inspirations and now we arrive at the hour and purpose for a letter from me to you.
I wish we could have at least shared an understanding. I wish I could have offered information to you because woman to woman, I understand why you fell and why you thought it didn't matter. I understand why you changed and how your emotions turned sour. I understand how you began to question every woman who ever came around because at one point that was me and that woman around was you. The secret, solution, and problem is within us.
I fault myself for letting my relationship go on beyond the first inkling of you. As well as, not making a better attempt to help you understand that you were never my issue. Ultimately I was. As you will soon realize that you are too. I am my own issue because when he went back and forth to you, it made me feel like I was less of something, but just as this situation doesn't define me, it doesn't define you either. He has his own issues to take up with the higher power, but karma is a bitch so be careful who you step over. I know who I am and I know what I'm worth, which is why eventually things did come to an end. I feel that now you have to find that within yourself.
Using men as a source of relief will only drill deeper into the void. While confrontation with me, is also pointless because long before you, there was me and honestly as much as titles changed, a lot of things stayed the same. My hope is that we grow. My hope is that in retrospect, we aren't catty and spiteful towards each other but that we develop this understanding: Just as I am a woman, so is she. She cries like I do, she feels like I do, and she hopes like I do. I care about her because I care about me. If she starts an issue, that's one thing, but if there is an opportunity to have a conversation, I will try my best to understand her position. It doesn't mean that I will not continue to pursue a relationship with him, yet it does mean that I will be respectful about it.
Now I look forward to a successful relationship with someone who doesn't cause these kinds of issues in my life. I hope you find what you are looking for, as well. As for if there is ever a point in your life where you meet a man who isn't exactly free, proceed with caution. Remember that she has a heart too and if she were you, what would you do?
I wish you well,
Woman
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