"Humans are amphibians — half spirit and half animal.... As spirits they belong to the eternal world, but as animals they inhabit time." - C.S. Lewis A few weeks ago, I was at a tennis practice with a child I watch from time to time, sitting with his sister. There is usually someone to talk to, but my normal friend was sitting a little far away so at this tennis match, I planned to just tweet and play games on my phone. Oddly enough, I met a woman who was pretty eccentric, reading a book. I don't remember whether it was me or her that struck up conversation but I do know that she was reading this book.
For whatever reason, we got further into conversation and she stated that she was a woman of faith. I thought that was cool and eventually I asked her about the book she was reading. There I was introduced to "The Screwtape Letters" by C.S. Lewis.
She briefly described that the whole point of the book was two demons communicating about their methods of spiritual warfare. Weird right? At first the thought made me a little uncomfortable. I thought she was one of those "Christians," as she described how she felt convicted about being distracted by everyday things. I have heard the argument before but I thought to myself, "I really don't know if it's that serious."
After leaving and going on about my life, I had a few other experiences in conversation related to the same type of thing. One involving a conversation with my brother, in which he told me a story about a man talking to him about smoking and how it effected your mind, and another with my sister about how she felt like she needed to get back to God somehow. In every conversation, the issue of a loss of time was presented.
For my sister, my solution for this problem that she presented was to work together. There are four of us, who felt disconnected from God, so I thought, "Hey, How about we work together?" They all agreed. One had even mentioned that she had been in prayer about the same exact thing. So, we were already confident that this was the thing we had been waiting for. This was the move we needed to make to get back to a place we felt comfortable in our spiritual lives.
Strangely enough, as easy as it was to begin praying, things around me started to seem off. Like, things in my personal life started to go astray. Social issues started to become a distraction and in most cases, these were things that eventually caused me to have difficulty praying. So, I fasted.
I haven't fasted in FOREVER, but I didn't want to loose this momentum that we were going in. Everyone seemed to be on one accord. I didn't want to be the one to ruin this thing that was beneficial to all of us. I fasted for a little over twelve hours and the thing that I had been fasting for seemed to come to a resolution.
Then another issue presented itself. Another issue, that has hindered my ability to pray. This is where I am at the moment. I don't know how much merit this book has or when a battle begins or ends. I just think that it's strange that I find myself in this place where I want to do something and can't, but there is no reason for it. It's not because of a lack in motivation, time, or anything. In general, I just can't. I begin to pray and all of these worries and issues suddenly present themselves, causing me to get frustrated. I'm 100% distracted.
It seems like everything that I've been praying for recently has come into my grasps, yet I still don't feel at peace. One thing that keeps resignation in my mind is what I heard preachers say, time and time again, "There is no point in attacking someone who is already doing what you want them to do. You go under attack when you are doing something that the other side is fearful of you accomplishing."
My only conclusion is to keep praying. I know there is nothing wrong with it and it's where I want to go. I also plan to read this book. If anything, I hope that it is a good read but I'm expecting to understand a little more about this place that I'm in.
If you pray, send one up for me and if you don't, send some good vibes lol ;)
Think.Happy.Thoughts
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