My 10 Must Haves in a Man

Okay ladies & gents, this is just for fun, which means don't judge me. Although, by reading my blog, you are technically supporting the madness that is me. Thanks!

So, I was sitting down thinking about what attracts men to me. Seems like an odd sequence of thoughts but I'm odd. I tried to consider the men in my life from the past, present and potential guys to come and find a common theme of "Why are these type of men attracted to me?".

I can't say that they are bad men, because a lot of them are good in different ways. Either with credentials or a great personality but why me? This lead me to a few theories. . .

The first consideration was my best friend's "Theory of Rejection." She said the reason men like me is because they like the rejection. If I were nice to them, then they wouldn't like me. I do agree that we want what we can't have but I wouldn't say I'm mean per say. Maybe a little direct and straight forward, but definitely not mean. Although I can be a little distant.

My theory is that, between the clothes that you wear and company you keep, people make assumptions as to whether they can see themselves with you or not. It doesn't have to make sense to everyone, just that person. Once that decision is made then the "courting begins."

In my experience, I meet a lot of great guys but I've only been in two official relationships and one long unofficial relationship, which either means I have a commitment issue or that I just haven't found "the one". Yet, the theme remains the same, the guy tricks me into falling in love and then I'm trapped until the potion wears off. I'm beginning to think that I'm not the "girlfriend" type. If left unprovoked, I would probably remain single for the rest of my life. This causes me to question what kind of provoking leads me into this trap, that I call love.

So I made a list of the top 10 thing I HAVE to HAVE in a man. It's kinda like my way of telling myself what I'm looking for or what I should just stop at the first knock. If you're a woman that's never written a list or at least thought about the qualities your ideal man should have, then you should definitely try it out. If anything, it will be interesting to see how your "true love" actually measures up, but in retrospect its helpful to gage what men you should allow in and what men you should keep out.

10. Love-ability

This is something that I'm adding because I didn't know how important it was until I didn't have it. It's important for a man to have the ability to love and be loved. This is for all the guys that have never been in love or are somewhat incapable of love. This is something that I can't live without, eventually I want to be able to express my love for someone that I've built a relationship with. So, phrases like "I'm not looking for anything serious" are a red flagged HELL NO.

9. Loyalty

UMMMMM. . . DUH. Somewhat of a no-brainer. I think Loyalty has two components, one being the ability to stick to something and the other being truthful. This is kind of a big deal.

8. Ability to Communicate

If you've ever been with a guy that can't communicate, then you know it's pretty much a deal breaker. I won't necessarily say that someone has to come into a relationship reading minds BUT at least have the capacity and desire to learn. This is a two-way street though, so you can't ask for communication and not be ready to sit down and work every little issue out.

7. Compassion

Compassion is on my list because I'm a tad bit of a cry-baby and have been referred to, as such on many different occasions. It is something that I need so that I don't feel insane! Just someone, who says, "it's going to be okay" and not "it's really not that big of a deal".

6. Flexibility

The ability to change, move, and grow is my idea of flexibility. I think it comes with being a well-rounded person and because I can be a little high strung at times. I need some one to add some spontaneity, as well as be able to shift with or counter-balance my many moods.

5. Attractive

Needless to say, the reason why this is in the middle of my list is because it's kind of a big deal. I'm not going to lie and say "No, as long as he has a good personality then I'm down for the cause." A good personality will get you in the door but being attractive is the "win over." I don't know if this is shallow, as much as it is real. If you aren't attractive to a person then it makes it difficult to move from friend to "friend."

4. Intelligence

Okay, I'm not that shallow because the next four top everything on my list. Not saying that I can have a man without loyalty, compassion, or anything else before this; just saying that these are game changers/deal breakers. I wouldn't classify myself as even close to the most intelligent person, but I can say that I love to talk and I love to learn. A man that can teach me something is inadvertently sexy. Sarcasm is a major bonus!

3. Humor

I love to laugh! I can't really go too much deeper here. I love to laugh and a funny guy trumps attractiveness. . . to a certain degree.

2. Ambition

Why is this number 2!? I'll tell you why, the most unattractive thing about any human being is someone who lacks ambition or passion. A man who has a dream and is working to get to those dreams is one of the sexiest, most attractive men in my book. The worst thing is someone just sitting and watching life go by, doing things that don't add to your life. It bothers me and its very unattractive. So, whether it's school, work, family, etc. You have to be trying to get somewhere.

1. Relationship with God

First and Foremost, the man of my dreams has a relationship with God. This is important for several different reasons. One being that God is important to me, so being with someone who doesn't understand that is kind of a waste of my time. The second reason that it's important to me, is because I need someone who knows how to build me up. Its hard to go through something where you would normally pray and not be able to do that with the one you love most. It's also difficult trying to stay on track when you are connected with someone who isn't even connected to the same railroad.

DOES THIS MAN EXIST!? No idea, but if I does, I hope he shows himself before I'm 30 lol