The Case of the Ex. . .

The Case of the Ex - Mya

Is it wrong to keep in touch with an ex once you've moved on and are in a committed relationship with someone else? Is it right to stop being a friend to an ex once you stop loving them romantically?

Personally, I think that there's nothing wrong with keeping in touch with someone that you cared about. . . with discretion. I think love goes beyond a "relationship status" and takes on more forms than "will you be my boyfriend, check yes or no." I also think that it's okay to still have love for people even when the relationship changes. I mean honestly I don't get how you ever cared about someone if you can just forget they ever existed as soon as you aren't together anymore.

On the flip side, I also understand how difficult it can be for someone you are with, as well as how dangerous it is when a flame is rekindled past its point. So, what do you do?

Some people say forget them all together, while others say who cares. . . I say keep them at a distance. As mentioned previously, I don't get how people move from "I can't live without you" to "I hate you." Well, I guess I get it, it's just that to me if your feelings had any weight, they aren't that easy to dismiss. In some cases, I think people naturally move apart but I feel like if that person ever meant anything to you, no matter what you still care. In writing that last statement I feel like a lot of people are like. . . "ummm, no."

I do understand people have different stances on hurt (and Lord knows I've been hurt), but in my life I've learned that resentment is a silent killer. Even when the people we've loved have done their worst, "Love" endures. To me this doesn't mean that if someone was the scum of the earth to you that you should be up their ass. . . I just think that love hopes they change for the better, hopes you recover and wishes that everyone finds what they were looking for in the end.

For me, there are some people I would have no issue with never speaking to again but anybody that has touched me deeply, to get to the point of love or a relationship. . . I have a desire to check how things are every once and a while. Especially, if we were ever friends.

At the same time, if it came between being friends with an ex and keeping my new relationship healthy . . . I would bid them adu. At the end of the day my past is how I got to my present which is important, but what I do with my future is way more important. I think personal relationships are some of the most imporant learning tools to humans that are often times taken for granted. Although some are seasonal, some are for a lifetime, and I don't think those are limited to everyone that I never dated.


Food for thought.