“Pretty women wonder where my secret lies./ I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size/ But when I start to tell them,/ They think I’m telling lies./ I say,/ It’s in the reach of my arms,/ The span of my hips, /The stride of my step,/ The curl of my lips./ I’m a woman/ Phenomenally./ Phenomenal woman,/ That’s me.” – Maya Angelou
Womanhood is something that people seldom talk about. It’s almost as if, it is not deemed as important as defining manhood, but I would like to argue: What is a man without woman. . .a mother to birth him, a sister to show him all of our secrets, a wife to show him what it means to love, and a daughter to show him all of his faults? Biblically, I would argue that God saw Adam and saw that it was not good for MAN to be alone, yet he never said anything about Eve. So then why does it seem like such a lost cause, as if women don’t know who they are?
Even women seldom talk about what it means to be a woman. Recently I’ve had several shocking conversations with women who argue that they can’t deal with “females,” but don’t they know how powerful the support of women can be. Women can keep you away from that no-good-man, know just want to say, help you pick out your close, and even cry with you. Women are strong, valuable allies, and even worse enemies. Women who have sworn off other women are usually easily hurt by men because they don’t have the support system to help guard their hearts and communicate their worth.
The beautiful side of womanhood is everything that makes us women. We are caring. We have to think about how someone else feels. Even the least caring of us, have someone that we can’t stop wondering about and when we love, we love hard. There are quotes about the beauty of a mother’s love because of the extent that we are able to express that emotion. We are emotional which just means that we are more equip to deal with them. Some charge it as a weakness, when men still have the same emotions, just with less ability to deal. We are beautiful, as a collective. Regardless of your preference, you can’t argue the beauty of a woman’s make up. Some women make themselves ugly with hate, jealousy, and negativity but even she will still be beautiful in some way.
We are strong. Our bodies are equipped to birth children and still carry the weight of the world on our shoulders. I have known women who wake up before the sun rises to feed their families, just to work all day, come home, make food, and can’t get to sleep before everyone else is asleep. Womanhood is one of the examples of God’s compassion in the human race.
The ugly side is that it is no easy task to be a woman. It is no easy task to put out loads and never get back what missing. It’s not easy to have to think about people that matter, as well as the people that don’t.Nor to experience hurts and be expected to still be all of what it means to be a woman; trusting, caring, and loving. It’s not easy to have such a responsibility to others. A burden that at times makes it seems like morality was birthed from women. Regardless of the situation, a woman’s judgment on right and wrong is swayed towards the heart.
In any case, why this is, is far from my reach of understanding but Womanhood is something that is being lost in the translation of time. Women like Maya Angelou and Sojourner Truth spoke of the essence of being a woman in a way that new generations cannot understand. They spoke of the “secrets” and the power of women being a gift. Sojourner wrote “If the first woman God ever made was strong enough to turn the world upside down all alone, these women together ought to be able to turn it back, and get it right side up again?” (Ain’t I a Woman).
So why do we limit ourselves to how much attention we get from men, or how tiny our waist is, how large our breast are, or how big (or small) our behind is? Why do we limit ourselves to being a side piece, instead of waiting to be someone’s main event? Why don’t we seem to understand that not having anything hanging between our legs is considered a strength, not a weakness? Why are we still happy with being “the other woman,” knowing that another woman is in pain?
I charge you to define womanhood for yourself, as you challenge others. Men have criteria to deem men who have not reached a state of maturation as “boys,” so in the same way “girls” do not deserve the title of a woman, who stands for all of this. Womanhood is something to be earned. As women, we should hold each other to a higher standard and if we do, we may see a change in our other halves. We can’t keep complaining that there are no good men, when I’m starting to see a scarcity in decent women as well.
Think about it.
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