Sex & Ministry. . .

"For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required: and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more"

Luke 12:48

This has been a topic that has been on my mind for longer than I can remember. From what I've been taught, it is somewhat of a paradox because sex has NOTHING to do with ministry. So much so that unless, you're married, you really shouldn't be having sex AND be in ministry. I guess to take it a step further. . . as a christian, you shouldn't be having sex before marriage at all.

I feel like I'm going to have to make this disclaimer, a million times, but by no means am I condoning sex before marriage but at the same time. My conflict is and maybe it's just me, that it's dealt with totally wrong. I would go a step further and argue that most sins in the church are dealt with in a way that not even God seems to justify the reaction.

For example: (John 8:1-30) When a town moved to stone a woman who had committed adultery, under the law. . . Jesus responded "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." After that everyone left, one by one. Jesus asked the woman "Has no one condemned you," and after she responded "no," he replied "then neither do I," and the last thing he spoke to her was, "sin no more."

Is this not how the church should deal with ALL sin? I think people would argue that there are different levels of severity to sin, which may or may not be true. People may also argue that you must completely turn from sin to minister to other people. One thing I don't think anyone can argue is that all sin equates to unrighteousness and anyone who is unrighteous will be condemned. This makes righteousness seem pretty difficult, BUT Jesus came to atone for sin so that righteousness could be achieved through faith and love.

Regardless of these known truths, we seem to still qualify sins, leaving "Big" sin and "little" sin. Unfortunately, sex before marriage is a "Big" sin, along with homosexuality, adultery, blasphemy, and murder. When I was younger this is what I believed. Yet, as I grow older I no longer believe that the ways in which we classify or condemn are the ways in which God intended, after sending his son.

With that being said. . . How does one deal with pre-marital sex and ministry? Even more specifically, how does one deal with someone who is unmarried and sexually active and in ministry?

For the first question, the options seem to be from my experience to: (1) Condemn, (2) Seclude, (3) Ignore, and/or (4) Teach in Love. I think condemnation is a popular approach. Condemnation just means that you declare it as sin and state the repercussions thereafter, for example, "Sex before marriage will lead to Hell." Seclusion is a second favorite, which usually includes removing that person from activities, relationships, and some times "God." This can sound like, "Since you are a sinner, you can no longer participate and honestly, I don't think we can be friends. . . I mean you know God can't stand to be around sin." Ignoring is something I don't think many people do, which really needs no explanation but requires not acknowledging the sin or person, at all.

Teaching in love is an approach that requires understanding, knowledge, discussion, and a desire to get to the bottom of the issue with a genuine concern for the individual. This can look like "I've heard that you are dealing with this issue. I believe that God's intention behind pairing each individual to an opposite counterpart under the commitment of "marriage" was apart of a larger design. I want to share my understanding, but I'm also interesting in learning how you feel about this." I think this can also be referred to as a understanding or dialogue approach.

For the latter, do these options change when dealing with someone in ministry? I think the options are the same, with the addition of the concept of "Accountability." This is something that each individual should ascribe to, but in ministry, just like in any leadership position, the question of "Is this the behavior that you feel should be replicated in the people that are following you," should be asked.

I think it works the same if you're a parent considering your children. The question would be, "Am I behaving in a way that I would want my children to behave?" Some might argue that these questions would automatically equate to being righteous, or in this case, abstinent but I think the other side of it is considering how we want God or others to react to us when we mess up. Regardless of how many "Big" sins you have managed to maintain. . . sin is sin. Which means that if you have hope that God will have compassion and forgiveness on your "Little" sins, you should operate in the same way.

My personal opinion. . . righteousness is a heart condition. Jesus came for sinners, and regardless of whether you think you're one or not, He came for you. He came for me. Every christian should strive to be sin-less for the love of God.

In reference to this topic, I've been on both side of the fence. I have been the one condemning, secluding, and ignoring. It is only now that I understand the heart of a sinner who urns for God's compassion, because that's me. Now I understand that SEX, HOMOSEXUALITY, LYING, CHEATING, BLASPHEMY, DOUBT, MURDER (and all the other sins) & Ministry have EVERYTHING to do with each other.

This by no means justifies sin, whether that's sex before marriage or anything else. This is just perspective on dealing with one specific type of sin. If we teach and aim to understand, in love. . . then we will make the biggest impact.

The Child Once Lost: So It Continues. . .

I'm just going to forewarn you that this post is solely dedicated to the history of this blog, to give light to the name change and explain my process of how I got here, what the blog was intended to be, what it was and what I hope that it will be. So basically I'm saying, some of y'all may not give a rat's "arse" but hey. . . ::blank stare:: It's whatever.

I was one of those people that always liked writing made up stories but never really like finishing anything. When I say "anything," I mean stories, art work, craft projects, etc. Somehow, to no credit of my own, I was always able to focus on school to get the grade or work to get paid, but not things that were "self-building," just for me. I remember finishing two journals in my life, which was quite the accomplishment, but I must say that blogging for a year. . . for me. . . is a pretty big deal.

With this blog, I was so afraid that I was going to fail that I started blogging a month before the new year, just to make sure I could get a good head-start. My initial goal was to blog at least twice every month, while pursuing my "Eat.Pray.Love" journey, which I'm proud to say that I accomplished, with some amendments, of course.

My initial PURPOSE/INTENT/METHOD TO THE MADNESS for starting this blog was purely because I was lost, hence the title, "The Lost Child," and on top of that, I was waiting to be found. . . hence the sub-title "Waiting to be found." (Clever, I know-_-) To be more specific, I was in a place in my life where I felt like I was so far from the person that I wanted to be that I could no longer identify who I was. To add insult to injury, I had turned from everything that grounded me, although at the time I felt like all of it had turned on me. 

The only positive I had was that I wanted to be found. Which is a plus, I feel for anyone lost. The pure desire to be found births hope, which births drive to seek that which is hoped for. One lost, without the hope of being found is simply lost.

In order to do be "found," I felt the urge to get back to the basics. My foundation: fun, faith, and love. I also felt like there was no way I would be successful unless I had an accountability partner of some sorts, hence blasting my business to the world, also known as the people that read this blog. 

When I began writing, the blog was undoubtedly for me, but over time I learned that people, not only like reading it, but helped, touched or moved by what I was writing, as well. I ran into people that weren't necessarily "following" the blog, but they read every post and felt connected in some way. Prior to this, it was just a "just for me" blog, which leads me to now.

I have in no way "arrived" at the best me that this planet will ever see. At the same time, I can no longer say that I am lost (At least, not like I was), I don't know where I'm going, nor can I say that I am only writing this blog as therapy for myself. So, with that, I am the child once lost, now found, but still growing. I'm going to continue this blog as I move through my next phase of life, keeping the light on for those of us that are still trying to find our way.

And just so you know. . .we all are a little lost, or in the dark, about something (Just in case you thought your boo boo smelt like roses, or something ;p)

As always,

Eat.Pray.Love. . .Think.Happy.Thoughts. . . Live.Out.Loud. . .& Laugh.

Welcome to . . .

Au Revoir Deux Mille Onze (Farwell 2011)

Dear 2011,

You are one year that brings more mixed feelings than the any of the other 23 years in my life. I don't know if this is something that you can be proud of, but it is my honest opinion that this was a "make or break" year for me. How fortunate am I that "make" ate a little more donuts than "break," tipping the scale towards the former.

You have been filled with tremendous pains and unfathomable joys, to which I am grateful for. I realize now that with out all--and I do mean ALL-- of the preparation from your predecessor (2010), I would not be where I am today.

You must of seen how depressed I was after all of what 2010 had for me. My friends argued that at some point I was unrecognizable. If only I knew what was to come in you, I would have had something to look forward to.

Very quickly, you identified yourself as a time of transition, in-between, and "not quite there yet." In many cases, I was still very attached to my pains, restrictions, and weights from 2010. In you, I realized from day 1 that something had to give. Things, people, and places that seemed out of order were beginning to take a toll on me. I knew that by the time you were away from me, everything must be in its place. I was fighting for me.

As I say my good-byes, I am happy to say that I made it. Not just my body, but the me that was caged in 2009, trapped in 2010, and fought through 2011 has risen victorious for 2012. The strong me. The joyful me. The God-filled me. As I say good-bye to all the things that will be left in you, I thank God for the opportunity to redeem what was lost and carry over what was given.

I thank God for all the lessons learned in 2011. I pray that I can give back in 2012.

Love,

A Child Once Lost, Now Found.