Feel Love? ♥ Love versus "in love"

How does one know that they're "In Love"?

Over the years, I have gathered a lot of information on Love from a variety of different sources; Some Ancient, i.e. The Greek forms of love, or Religious, i.e. I Corinthians 13:4, while others a little more ridiculous, i.e. Gucci Mane's song "I think I Love Her," or infallible like the movie The Notebook. Yet with all of the plays by Shakespeare that I was forced to read in high school or my many (many) crushes through out my young adolescence. . . I cannot understand why Love is such a challenging concept to grasp? And even after understanding a crumb of the very large idea of "an emotion of strong affection and personal attachment" pie, why are we then faced with the idea of being "in Love" as something different.

The most intense, detailed description award of every type of Love known and accepted (as far as I know) seems to go to the ancient Greeks with their idea of: Philia, Eros, and Agape. If you don't already know, Philia is considered "Brotherly Love," usually shared between siblings or friends. Its the happy, warm, friendly, fuzzy type of Love.

Eros is also know as "Love Erotic" which is pretty simple, with no need of too much explanation. Although some see this Love as a lesser Love; it is actually a pretty high connection between two individuals in the act of becoming one being. Overall, it is a representation of a passionate Love, which, for the lack of a better word, has been perverted.

The last and one of the most highly respected form of Love (via many different religions) is Agape, which is "Unconditional Love." Agape is described in I Corinthians 13:4 with "Love is patient. Love is kind, etc."It is a description of all of the things that Agape can come up against without changing in level or intensity.

So where does the differentiation between loving someone and being "in Love" with someone come from? Well. . . apparently no one knows. . . but on a brighter note, it is commonly believed that one's concept of being "in Love" is defined by that person.

For example, growing up, my grandparents had a pretty unique relationship in which at times my brothers and I questioned whether they were in Love. One day, I asked my Papa if he loved my grandmother and he began to laugh, he said "Shit, I feed her don't I? I let her live here, Don't I?" I laughed with him, still not really understanding how that amounted to Love but as I grew older I realized that I kinda wanted a little bit of what they had. I wanted that understanding with someone, that this is who we are and we Love each other because and in spite of. The always shared a joke that no one else was in on and I miss him dearly, as I'm sure she does as well.

With this, my quest to understand whether I too was "feeling Love" was coming to an end. I realized that I had to define what it meant to be "in Love" for me. So here goes everything. . .

"I think being "in Love" for me is when I could see myself with a million other people and none of them would fit as perfectly as you. I think for me, being "in Love" is when I want to make you feel like the only person in the world, because that's how you make me feel. I think being "in Love" for me is when I am willing to go through whatever life can bring, joys and sorrows, as long as you are by my side. For better or for worse, I think for being "in Love" for me is when I desire to be with you, wholehearted, not from a position of passion, but in that if I could have that honor. . . it would make me that happiest person in the world."

Think. Happy. Thoughts ;)

Phenomenal Woman: The Joys & Pains of Womanhood

“Pretty women wonder where my secret lies./ I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size/ But when I start to tell them,/ They think I’m telling lies./ I say,/ It’s in the reach of my arms,/ The span of my hips, /The stride of my step,/ The curl of my lips./ I’m a woman/ Phenomenally./ Phenomenal woman,/ That’s me.” – Maya Angelou

Womanhood is something that people seldom talk about. It’s almost as if, it is not deemed as important as defining manhood, but I would like to argue: What is a man without woman. . .a mother to birth him, a sister to show him all of our secrets, a wife to show him what it means to love, and a daughter to show him all of his faults? Biblically, I would argue that God saw Adam and saw that it was not good for MAN to be alone, yet he never said anything about Eve. So then why does it seem like such a lost cause, as if women don’t know who they are?

Even women seldom talk about what it means to be a woman. Recently I’ve had several shocking conversations with women who argue that they can’t deal with “females,” but don’t they know how powerful the support of women can be. Women can keep you away from that no-good-man, know just want to say, help you pick out your close, and even cry with you. Women are strong, valuable allies, and even worse enemies. Women who have sworn off other women are usually easily hurt by men because they don’t have the support system to help guard their hearts and communicate their worth.

The beautiful side of womanhood is everything that makes us women. We are caring. We have to think about how someone else feels. Even the least caring of us, have someone that we can’t stop wondering about and when we love, we love hard. There are quotes about the beauty of a mother’s love because of the extent that we are able to express that emotion. We are emotional which just means that we are more equip to deal with them. Some charge it as a weakness, when men still have the same emotions, just with less ability to deal. We are beautiful, as a collective. Regardless of your preference, you can’t argue the beauty of a woman’s make up. Some women make themselves ugly with hate, jealousy, and negativity but even she will still be beautiful in some way.

We are strong. Our bodies are equipped to birth children and still carry the weight of the world on our shoulders. I have known women who wake up before the sun rises to feed their families, just to work all day, come home, make food, and can’t get to sleep before everyone else is asleep. Womanhood is one of the examples of God’s compassion in the human race.

The ugly side is that it is no easy task to be a woman. It is no easy task to put out loads and never get back what missing. It’s not easy to have to think about people that matter, as well as the people that don’t.Nor to experience hurts and be expected to still be all of what it means to be a woman; trusting, caring, and loving. It’s not easy to have such a responsibility to others. A burden that at times makes it seems like morality was birthed from women. Regardless of the situation, a woman’s judgment on right and wrong is swayed towards the heart.

In any case, why this is, is far from my reach of understanding but Womanhood is something that is being lost in the translation of time. Women like Maya Angelou and Sojourner Truth spoke of the essence of being a woman in a way that new generations cannot understand. They spoke of the “secrets” and the power of women being a gift. Sojourner wrote “If the first woman God ever made was strong enough to turn the world upside down all alone, these women together ought to be able to turn it back, and get it right side up again?” (Ain’t I a Woman).

So why do we limit ourselves to how much attention we get from men, or how tiny our waist is, how large our breast are, or how big (or small) our behind is? Why do we limit ourselves to being a side piece, instead of waiting to be someone’s main event? Why don’t we seem to understand that not having anything hanging between our legs is considered a strength, not a weakness? Why are we still happy with being “the other woman,” knowing that another woman is in pain?

I charge you to define womanhood for yourself, as you challenge others. Men have criteria to deem men who have not reached a state of maturation as “boys,” so in the same way “girls” do not deserve the title of a woman, who stands for all of this. Womanhood is something to be earned. As women, we should hold each other to a higher standard and if we do, we may see a change in our other halves. We can’t keep complaining that there are no good men, when I’m starting to see a scarcity in decent women as well.

Think about it.

Growing Up STINKS!

So. . . Growing up sucks!

All respects to God for life and aging, among his many other blessings, but growing up is such a long tedious process, I find it frustrating that more people don't complain about it. I think I liked it better when my parents were responsible for making sure that I became a good person. . . not me. Like if I don't perform well, people won't talk about my failures but they'd say "Well, where are her parents?"

Today was a great day for "Grown-up Me" but not so exciting for my younger self. I got my second apartment! It's beautiful, I can paint it and I like the prices. . .BUT when thinking about all of the things that I wanted to do to it, I felt a lot like that kid crying up there. Thank GOODNESS, I'm getting some start off help from my mother, new full-time job, and graduation gifts; yet even with all of that I will still be working my butt off this entire summer to make life "perfect". Awesome, right?

I just want to go back to the days where money was handed to you. Sure it was a dollar and you spent it all at the corner store buying chips, candy, and a drink, but you didn't have to worry about where the dollar came from. You just were so happy that you had it. I want to go back to the days where my parents would say "I'm broke" and then take me to McDonald's. It was almost like "being broke" was a joke or something.

I just don't think people do enough explaining about how life will be during this massive transition towards independence. Don't get me started on love, friendship, and responsibilities. I just wish I could go back and know what was coming. That one day I would have to pay bills, manage credit, and wait for the "Right man." On top of that, I wish they would add that none of this is promised nor easy. I feel as though once I get the hang of this, it will be on to children and marriage and LORD KNOWS, I'm not ready for that!

Anyways, wish me luck!

Think. Happy. (Grown Up). Thoughts :)