Marriage & Friendships

So, apparently when you get married . . . your friendships change. Who knew? I mean, this may seem clearly obvious to some people but this concept was not that obvious to this girl. Who, might I add, I think is pretty darn smart.

I’ve been thinking about how things change when people get into relationships and have come to the conclusion that marriage is like . . .the ultimate friendship breaker or maintainer. It’s like any friend that your spouse doesn’t really care for, or that just can’t seem to fit into your newly found joint schedule could potentially become “you remember that one person.”

This, to me at least, is unfortunate because I hate losing people. I think in most cases, you get to keep your really important friends, but what those relationships look like, will most likely change.

When I was in high school, I stayed on the phone until 6 AM with my two best friends almost every night. When I got into my first relationship, it’s seemed easy enough (to me, of course) to maintain my relationship with both of my best friends. One of them, I was dating, and the other was my girl Best friend, who I am still best friends with today. All-in-all, things changed but nothing major. Right?

Ehh.

I may not have openly recognized the change but my girl best friend did. I remember her saying, “I just feel like the third wheel.” I always thought it was weird because we all did the same exact thing, or at least in my mind we did. In reality, WE all changed. He and I flirted, held hands, and ran off to be alone, which wasn’t anything like what we did before. In response to us, she began looking for a relationship and no too long after we drifted.

 The only way things could be the same is if we all dated. . . and since that wasn’t going to happen (despite his efforts lol ::insider::), the relationship had to change.

Now that I’m a “grown up,” I’m coming to grips with what a husband will mean in relation to my friendships. As always, it’s my best friend who helps me to realize the things I refuse to acknowledge without a fight.

She helps by saying things like, “No, it’s okay. We can get off the phone. He’ll be your husband soon, so I have to get use to that. J” She’s not upset or anything. She’s actually extremely happy for us. She just does it out of respect for our relationship. It’s just something about the way she says it that makes me feel like “the end is near.”

Then I think, well what about all of my other relationships!? If my best friend and I won’t talk as much, what will happen to my other relationships!? What about my guy friends!? What about my single friends!? What about all my FRIENDS!????

Maybe I’m spazzing out a little (Just a little) but these are my real life thoughts.

From what I’m beginning to “understand,” my relationships WILL change and it’s not necessarily a bad thing. It’s just a part of growing older and more together . . . all at the same time. I think you should make every good attempt to maintain your relationships but I think that the people who last, change with you.

In the hierarchy of things, your husband becomes your partner in the front part of the two-seat roller-coaster of life. You guys will go through everything together . . . kids, ups, downs, maybe some more kids, and other things (You like how well-versed I am in marriage lingo? ;p) Either way, your friends are UBER important, but that whole spouse thing takes the cake every time.

With that being said. . . I don’t plan on losing any of my friends. I just hope that everyone understands that our friendship may not look the same. I’m sure he’ll work with me while we’re figuring it out.

Live.OUT.Loud