Organized Chaos

Just because I'm in the writing spirit, this one will be a little more like my mind exploding on paper. A direct result of the absence of self-expression through writing. Consider this my re-hydration.

I am faced with a dichotomy . . .

The part of me that wants to be more like me

Seems to flow through my very enemy

An enemy which I have identified in a dream like state

Reaching for reality

Deemed for fatality

Yet still hoping for vitality

The enemy with inner me

Is me

A typical conclusion

Draw by the illusion

That my enemy could only be someone else

But it is no one else

Only my creation

A figment of my imagination

A sad attempt at

Demonizing my transgressions

In hopes for reconciliation

In achievement of none

Tradition has become the cage that I want to escape from

While order is where I want to be took

I want to look

Sneak a peek at my life and see consistency

Neat lines and organized thoughts

Everything would make sense

But when I look I see me

Shook

Snapped back into reality

Growing and learning

Not yet there

Order is where I urn to be

Yet planned for me

Cordially

Is dis-order

Dis-comfort

And dis-tain

Everything is so hard to maintain

And it just gets worse

And all they can say is don't complain

It gets better

But when

It will

But how

Tell me now

I want to be rescued

I want order

I want to be contained