Marrying "My Perfect"

"There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage" 

- Martin Luther

Last Saturday, on November 24, 2012 at 11 AM, I married "my perfect." I've had a lot of nicknames for important people in my life and have major issues with duplicating those name, which is why my husband would naturally be a name that I can't exactly top. 

For years now, I have been under the impression that society's view of perfection has been perverted into something unobtainable. Perfect is not necessarily with out flaws, yet " having all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics; as good as it is possible to be." That means something completely different than flawless, at least to me it does. To me, perfect is the exact ingredients (characteristics) needed. So, my husband is "my perfect" because he is everything I need in the person I'm going to spend the rest of my life with.

Many people, greet newly weds with the question, "So, how does it feel?" To what, for a few days now, was very hard for me to answer. In response to most people, I told them that it didn't feel any different or I responded with "it feels weird." I felt like, I was letting people down so I decided to take some time to dig a little deeper. In my dig, I still didn't find anything profound to say about my feelings after marriage, but what I did notice is this unfaltering peace. 

The peace I felt was the same peace that met me at the alter, when it was time to say I do. That same peace that came during our first sitting together. It was a peace that surpasses my understanding of the things right before me, behind me, or well into my future. There was comfort in knowing that this was "it" and it was "perfect." Perfect because I've seen glimpses of his worst and I made a commitment to love him through that. Perfect because he's seen me in lights, I wouldn't dear let anyone else see, and he still calls me beautiful. Perfect because I've seen him and I love every part of it. Perfect because the parts that I don't like, still don't turn me away.

Marriage seems like this journey of commitment to the worst in someone, who you're completely nude with, physically, emotionally, mentally, and physically, with an expectation to be hurt and still give them your best. A major trust game. I think it's easy to love someone and commit to all the wonderful things about them but the worst? That's when things get real. 

I'm just happy to say that I married my best friend. I'm happy that our wedding went the way we planned it and the honeymoon was amazing. I'm excited for what life will bring. I'm proud to carry his last name and I hope that I can be the wife he needs and wants. 

Pray for me y'all. I'll be praying for us too.  

31 Days until "I Do"

"One of the great illusions of our time is that love is self-sustaining. It is not. Love must be fed and nurtured, constantly renewed. That demands ingenuity and consideration, but first and foremost, it demands time." 

- David Mace

Tomorrow marks 31 days until "I Do" for me and my husband-to-be. As much as this time is the beginning of something, it's also the end of something too. It's the end of an era. A pretty rocky one, but an awesome one nonetheless. I'm embarking upon a new journey and not only me, but a whole other person with me. It's just a tad bit scary. 

I find myself collecting as much wisdom and words of advice as I can. Trying to figure out the tricks and prepare myself for the hard times. It's a very sobering time. Everything seems as if it is beginning to slow down and I am continuously contemplating questions like, "How does marriage work?," "How does it fail?," and "Is there anything I'm missing?" 

In a month, I won't have the same name. I will walk down the aisle and vow forever's and always into eternity. I'm just saying. . . this is some heavy stuff. One should really take some time to think about these things.

As final preparations are made on decorations, final touches are being made on my heart in preparation for "I do." I'm really hope that I'm a decent wife. I don't want to be an "over-achiever," just enough to get by. (just kidding). I hope that he's a good husband but I believe he will be. 

The waiting game begins. 

In efforts to not wait in vain I'm going to finish the book Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, as well as brush up on my marriage scriptures and Proverbs 31. If you have any words of advice or encouragement, please feel free to write in our guest book. It would be greatly appreciated :)

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Something New

“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” 

― Mahatma Gandhi

I can't really describe how I feel at this point in life. By "point," I mean like this very second, as in "right now" as I sit on my bed and write this blog. In summary, I think I'm all of the emotions together. I'm happy, excited, angry, frustrated, tired, alert, annoyed, disturbed, content, and yea. . . the list goes on. 

I wonder if this is how everyone feels when they're in transition to something new. I feel like I'm just waiting to get somewhere, kind of like when you are on a bus, train, or plane (whatever your preferred means of transportation) and you begin staring off into the window. In those moments it's like everything stops, so you have just enough time to reflect on where you've been and where you are going. You know you're getting closer, but you're not there yet. Although, in these moments, I always wish I was there. At least for the sake of knowing what is to come, if not anything else.

I'm anxious to be transitioning to something new. In addition to something old, something borrowed, and something blue. I'm anxious to be in unfamiliar territory. I'm fearful of the unknown. What is married life going to be like? What will my career look like? What does being a mother feel like?. . . and Will I be good or at least "Okay" at ANY of these things.

You just don't know.

Today, my fiance and I were speaking to the young adults in our youth group about what was going on in their lives and it seemed like a lot of them had their minds on their own transitions. One person, in particular, seemed to feel a lot like I feel about marriage, my career, and everything else, about transitioning from High School into "Adult life".

It took me back to when I was 18 and I didn't know what was to come. I didn't know if I was going to make it into college. I didn't know if I would make it out. I didn't know if I was going to stay with my High School sweetheart. I just didn't know.

The cool thing about life is that sometimes the unknown holds pleasant surprises. When I was 18, for example, although I really wanted to go to UGA, I ended up going to Spelman College and it was one of the BEST things that has ever happened to me. Memories like these remind me that something new can be just as exciting, as it is scary but it can be just what the doctor ordered. 

So now I'm preparing for something new. I expect that God has something great in store and I'm hoping that I'm strong enough to be great along with it. I'm trusting that the desires of my heart are whispers of God's heart and clues to my direction and purpose. I guess I have high expectations, but Hey. . . they haven't failed me yet! (Or I just can't remember when. . . so it doesn't count)

Either way, it's a learning process. Life is filled with moments that define your dash. I want my dash to say I lived life to it's fullest extent, with dignity, courage, and wisdom. . . and with guidance. So, I'm moving forward. 

Wish me luck on my something new. ;)