The Beauty of Female Friendships. . .

"A sister is a gift to the heart, a friend to the spirit, a golden thread to the meaning of life."
- Isadora James

A few years back, I remember hearing a woman speak about relationships. At this point in my life, I was pretty much anti-female. I don't remember if I was dating at the time, but I do know that all of my friends were males. It was awesome--honestly. I can't say that I have an altered opinion because I still value my male relationship but after hearing this woman speak, I learned to value the women in my life as well. It also prepared me for the women that were going to come.

The speaker that changed my opinion on female influence, talked a lot about the hurts that women face in relationships. She talked about the mistake women make and how men have their faults and so on and so forth. The part that was most interesting to me was that she made the argument that "Female relationship, not only were good for your romantic relationships with men, but also for your overall well-being."

This was hard for me to comprehend because I had been hurt by so many women, I couldn't imagine being that close to a woman that would not only not hurt me and on top of that. . .ADD SOMETHING? I thought to myself, "Women are so dramatic and catty. I just fit in better with guys, so how can a woman add that much to my life?"

I mean seriously. They can be terrible. They talk about people. They have attitudes. They are focused on dumb stuff, like clothes and shoes. Guys are just so MUCH easier to get along with, which I must say that I still feel is very true, but then it hit me. I'm a woman.

It seems silly to think that I'd actually have to stop and think about that but it was something that didn't fit with the equation. Something that was so important, it changed the way that I had to view my relationships. If I am a woman, and I think we are so terrible, why would anyone want to be friends with me? Why would a guy want to be friends (unless he was trying to holla), unless women were in fact, not that bad.

In the same thought, I have to acknowledge that I'm awesome; but even more relevant is that there are other awesome women like me.

The beauty of female friendships is that a good female friend can relate to you on levels a man can never understand. A good female friend will cry with you and then go with you to get ice cream and brownies to cheer you up. A good female friend will tell you her experiences to help shield you from ever having to experience the same things. A female friend nows what it means, when you say "Its just one of those days," and she will build you up before she ever tears you down. A good female friend will communicate with you through telepathy in groups with other people.

On top of that, there is always the benefit of the infamous clothes swap when you have to re-do an outfit that isn't going so right.

I think that its important for women to have a close circle of female friends that will surround them in their times of joy, sadness, and weakness. I'm proud to say that I have those women in my life and they mean the world to me.

Thank you all for sticking with me in most stubborn moments, for loving me when I thought I was unlovable, and for always, Always being there for me. I love you guys and you know that you are more than friends, You're my sisters :)

One is the Lonliest Number. . .

"True love never runs smoothly. . ." - English Proverb

There is an old saying that states,"Good things come to those who wait." Really!? Who says and why!? How does that work with the saying that states, "The early bird catches the worm," or concepts like being diligent and working for what you want!?

If you haven't already guessed I'm a little irritated. (I know it was hard to tell). I'm irritated because I'm finding that my surroundings are having a major effect on my inner workings. In a normal circumstance, I would be fine being alone. I would feel claustrophobic and would run and hide away from people that wanted to be near me. Now I find myself. . .just here. Alone.

It's so weird how we want what we can't have and don't want what's available to us. It's like overexposure can soothe desire, where are in other cases, over exposure causes addiction. Well, I'll tell you one thing. . .I'm not going to get addicted to this!

The situation is simple: All of my friends are boo-ed up. It's like God waited for me to say I didn't want a relationship to give them all relationships. OH, THE IRONY! I don't even know if I want a relationship, as much as I just want someone to call, or go to the movies with. Nothing serious, but he has to be as disinterested as me, yet interested enough to want me a little more than I want him. Complicated right?

I don't know. I think I just am having a moment. Which will pass, and then I will be back to my normal anti-love/relationship self. . . I hope. :)

Just a little Encouragement

Today I was feeling a little down while driving to work. I don't know how many people this applies to but, sometimes I get so frustrated with myself for not doing what I should have, could have, or would have done. I wish I could do everything the right way the first time but it rarely works out that way. I would chop it up to being a perfectionist, but I don't really think that's the case. I think it's more like, some things I just don't do.

At other times there are things that I just can't do. Sometimes I find myself saying 'Yes' to everything. "Yes, I will sit on the phone with you while I'm writing this paper!" "Yes, I will take on that large assignment by that impossible date." I don't know, but sometimes it feels good to complete the impossible. Yet, not so good when you realize you can't do, what you couldn't do, in the first place.

This is something that creeps into my personal life as well. I want to do all these things that will be better for me but for what ever reason some things just don't work out. This morning I was thinking about something I wanted to do, but didn't and I just started to go off. I mean like I went IN on myself. I was just like "WHY CAN'T YOU JUST GET RIGHT!? YOU KNOW WHY!? BECAUSE YOU SUCK!"

As I began to get all emotional, I thought about how you never know what people are going through in their everyday lives. The person that greets you with a smile everyday, could have so much going on under that smile and you wouldn't even know it. I thought about myself and what I go through and how I rarely tell people the whole story. I would prefer to hold it all in and deal with it on my own, but how many others are feeling the same way.

Even worse, What if you didn't have someone to call when you were at your worst? What if you were going through and couldn't call on anyone to be an ear to hear or shoulder to cry on?

All that to say: It doesn't matter what you have done, didn't do, or should have done. Tomorrow is not promised, but if you are blessed enough to receive another tomorrow, give thanks and try to do everything to your best ability. Everyday is a day for new beginnings and it's okay to fall, as long as you get back up.

I know it seems preachy but it's something that I need to hear at my lowest moments and felt it would only be appropriate to assume that some one reading may feel the same. It always comforting to have the person that stays positive, no matter what it is. So, if no one is there to say it, let me be the first to say: It's Okay. You're not alone. Keep pushing towards perfect and you may just end up great ;)

Have a great day!