My Friend, Brandon

"When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share out pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand." - Henri Nouwen

I met Brandon at a "Christian party" my freshman year at Spelman (Please don't judge). Writing "Christian Party" out just sounds so funny now but it was the thing to do for the Christian crowd in the AUC. It was a legit party with Christian up-tempo music, food, and dancing (at safe distances, of course). It was unique. Something I will never forget. 

Freshman year was one of the most exciting because of the way you met people and instantly became life-long friends. That's how it was with Brandon. It was a relatively instantaneous friendship. Back then, Brandon was a clown. I mean that in the nicest way possibly, of course. It seems like Brandon would do his best to annoy me into chasing him around. Which meant poking, teasing, hitting, cake throwing (Yes, It happened), relatively anything.

As our friendship grew, I learned a lot about God, ministry, service, friendship, and dedication to people. Brandon always wanted to help someone. Even me. Over the years, I've seen him in his darkest and most vulnerable moments and at any moment, he would drop everything to help someone else.

Time and circumstances had a terrible effect on our friendship. It seems that by the time I heard word of Brandon in 2011, it had been nearly three years since we spoke more than a few words to each other. I hate that it had to have been this news that would bring us back together. 

In the Spring of 2011, I learned that Brandon was in the hospital with a brain tumor. The same lively, happy, loving friend that I had known so well, went to the hospital for headaches only to find something much worse.  

I went to see Brandon in the hospital, shortly after his initial surgery. His mother and some of our mutual friends were surrounding his bed. His head was wrapped with bandages and he could barely speak, but he was laughing and smiling with all of us. I fought my tears that day. I refused to cry, when he still had so much joy and so little information on why this was all happening to him. Although, I wondered. 

At that time, we didn't know whether Brandon was going to make it, nor what he was up against but we were there. We are still here. At the end of 2012, Brandon shared that he would soon be taken off of his mother's health insurance and needed help to insure his medical care would continue. 

In 2013, a group of friends and I started the "100 Days to Save a Life" campaign to help Brandon. We have raised over $4,000 but still have a long way to go. Whether we reach our goal or not, I have it set it my mind that friendship is more than being with something when everything is going well for them. True friendship stays with you in your darkest hour. True friendship holds your hand and fights along side you. I want to be a true friend. 

Please support my friend, Brandon, in raising money to take care of his medical needs. Glimoblastoma is the most common and most aggressive malignant primary brain tumor in humans. This disease does not have specific ties to genetics, race, gender, or age, which means that this could happen to anyone. Prognosis is extremely poor, with a median survival time of approximately 12-14 months. This disease is almost invariable fatal. Yet, Brandon has been fighting it for two years now. 

Please visit our Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/100DaysToSaveALife for more information.

Life Does Not Wait. . .

The other day, I was strongly considering hiding inside of myself, which is my introverted technique to running away. I was thinking that I would go so far inside of myself, I would get lost and then no one would be able to find me. I thought that losing myself would hurt everyone, which at the time, seemed like a great plan. I guess I just really wanted someone to feel how I felt in that moment. 

While sitting on the toilet (also known as my angry place. . . don't you dare judge me), I was thinking of how cold I could be. It's actually a little narcissistic, like who thinks they are going to punish the world by removing themselves mentally? I guess I do. 

As I sat there, it suddenly dawned on me that Life didn't wait for me to have my little "burn everything" moments. Although, I'm all in favor for a few of those, I have to recognize that it doesn't wait for me to lose myself, find myself, or do anything for that matter. What we choose to do in every moment gives our lives value or takes it away.

With every angry conspiring thought, breath, and twisted facial expression, Life left me behind. I sat and I looked around the bathroom and realized that I could be spending my time doing so many other things right now. I could be laughing right now, or even better eating and yet, I'm in the bathroom, wasting time being angry, as Life waved and kept it rolling.

I don't want to have to catch up. I also don't want to waste time plotting on being unhappy or making other people unhappy. I want to spend my time wisely.

I remember when I finally met my husband after several unsuccessful attempts at dating and I told God that I didn't want any more "almost's." I told God that the only man I wanted to deal with was "THE man," and not only that but I need some divine revelation a.k.a "proof". Much like this moment, I realized that my time was precious and I needed to make the best of every moment. I needed to understand that Life does not wait and position, mind set, and diligence can be everything in moments of difficulty. 

This was just my little reminder to keep pressing. Joy is something that comes from a deeper understanding, not emotions or circumstances. Peace is something that you invite into your heart and treasure. Wisdom is something you pray to find and fight to keep. Life is just so much better when you spend every moment like it is the most important thing in the world to you. 

Live. Laugh. Love. . . 

Coming Out: Joy, Progress, & 2013

Photography by Eternal Love

In December of 2010, The Lost Child: Waiting to be Found blog was birthed out of my uncertainty in my ability to continue a blog longer than two posts. I wanted to embark upon a self-proclaimed journey of self-discovery in 2011, which would consist of posting several blog posts in each month of the year. For me, it was scary to start something that I wasn't sure that I could finish. Yet, I managed to not only complete my task but go well beyond it.

As 2011 came to a close, I felt there was no more need for my blog. At least, not as it was. It's hard to continue talking about how lost and angry you are, when you are no longer lost nor angry. Through my journey of self-discovery I really seemed to find myself. In addition, I found God, Joy, Peace. . . and A MAN! (I really hope you guys can imagine the exaggerated southern accent that came in on the last part of that sentence.)

With that being said, the blog name was changed to The Child Once Lost. This was a big statement for my life because in retrospect, I've always felt lost. The year of 2012 was filled with certainty, understanding, and purpose. In summary, it was something new and that something new was awesome. All of this brings me to today, the day I am choosing to "come out"as a blogger, so-to-speak. Confused? I'd imagine. Let me explain. 

When I began this blog I wanted to remain as anonymous as possible to shield myself from all of the social harms of blogging, such as judgement, questions, black mail, etc. (I'm totally not paranoid.) To accomplish this task, I did several things. One thing was that I posted all of my blogs through an alias, which led most people to have challenges remembering my full name but allowed for my name not to be directly attached to this blog. In addition, I removed personal identifiers and created a very general profile. I also refrained from using personal pictures or names in any of my posts. All-in-all, I didn't want to just be completely out there. 

A month or two ago, one of my friends commented on one of my blogs and shared how different my posts were from the beginning of my blog to now. She shared that I changed a lot and she was happy for me. She ended the comment by stated that she, herself, was still lost. Her comment changed my perspective on my need to stay private. It made me think that sometimes transparency is necessary, in order to help others. 

The other side to this is that I'm happy. Genuinely happy. I'm proud of the progress and excited for the future. I hope that my story helps someone else. In all honesty, it still helps me. 

So, again, I welcome you to my blog.

T. Lamb

Love. Laugh. Live