Yes, if you thought that Jesus died and washed away all of our sins, you are correct; but I feel as though it is not the same in my brother and sister's eye. For once I reveal my transgressions, I feel pushed aside, ostracized, and unclean; Left to forever wash the sin from my thighs or my mouth or my thoughts, just to fit in. How hard is it to get to God when you are forced to go through his people? How much do they look like God? How much do I?
Am I merciful? Am I forgiving? Do I judge those who have committed "greater" sins? Some days I feel like a fictional Christian. I feel like I can't talk about what I'm really going through, with someone who could pray with me and would still see me as a child of God. I feel like because I do sin, sometimes forget to pray, and still can't find a church home that I cannot be considered as a follower of Jesus Christ. I feel like Christians spend their whole lives learning what not to do, that they don't focus on the scriptures about love (Matthew 22: 36-40) or forgiveness (Matthew 18: 21-22), or what it actually means to be saved.
Salvation is nothing that you did for yourself by accomplishing perfection, but what God did for all of those that make the choice to believe in their hearts and confess with their mouths that Jesus Christ is Lord (Romans 10: 9-10). The lie is that you can't be a Christian, if you've sinned. The truth is that if you keep your focus on God. . .all other things will pass away.
If you've ever felt this way, just know that people, Saints or Sinners, don't hold the key to your salvation. Jesus does and he gave you the power to make one choice to guide all the rest of your choices. Read it and believe it for yourself.
Thank the Lord, who reigns on the thrown, who passes judgement based on our hearts and not on our actions. I love you.
Your Daughter,
Falling in Love with Me
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